We're 1/4 of the way through the baseball season which means we've about run out of patience on fellas that got off to slow starts this season. Below is a list of underachievers that you have either kicked off your team by now or are ready to the next time you look at your boxscore.
Jason Heyward (81st Average Draft Position). Anytime you want to start living up to your "Next Griffey" status, feel free to do so, Jason. The J-Hey Kid had all the tools when he broke into the majors but has only consistently flashed the defense tool for the past three years. This tool, of course, does no favors to fantasy owners. Jason Heyward; get the fuck off my team.
Martin Prado (100 ADP). Prado is usually taken a little higher because of his multiple position eligibility but the only position he should be playing for you right now is your bench. We can sort of deal with the zero homers and zero stolen bases so far but the .247 batting average isn't doing much to prevent owners from giving up on this utility man. Martin Prado, do me a favor and get the fuck off my team.
Pablo Sandoval (125 ADP). Somebody deep fry a chicken pot pie and force feed this Panda immediately. Sandoval dropped a ton of weight in the offseason but it's his offensive numbers that look as thin as a holocaust survivor. Pablo is hovering around the Mendoza line with weak power numbers which means his checking account will be a little lighter than anticipated when he files for free agency this winter. Pablo, get off your diet and get the fuck off my team.
Will Venable (132 ADP). When you're the worst hitter on the Padres, you know you suck. Venable has 20/20 potential but right now he might finish the season as a 3/14 guy with a .180 average. Zero reason to have this man on your roster. Now get the fuck off my team, Will.
B.J. Upton (184 ADP). This man is broken. He's always had a hole in his swing and his new specs or new mechanics aren't doing a damn thing to shrink that hole. He's got great speed but it's really difficult to swipe bags when you're wearing a golden sombrero every night. Before you try a new toe tap, B.J., get the fuck off my team.
Khris Davis (189 ADP). Khris Davis was a very appealing late round pick due to the power this young man displayed at the end of last year. The problem is, once major league pitchers have time to look at tape and expose weaknesses, it's up to the young hitter to adjust, which Davis has not done. A 40/3 strikeout to walk ratio is hilarious and unless this dude lays off a couple pitches outside the zone, he's going to be back in the minors before the all star break. It took Chris Davis a few years to figure it out so maybe there is hope for this Khris Davis but until then, get the fuck off my team.
Jason Heyward (81st Average Draft Position). Anytime you want to start living up to your "Next Griffey" status, feel free to do so, Jason. The J-Hey Kid had all the tools when he broke into the majors but has only consistently flashed the defense tool for the past three years. This tool, of course, does no favors to fantasy owners. Jason Heyward; get the fuck off my team.
Martin Prado (100 ADP). Prado is usually taken a little higher because of his multiple position eligibility but the only position he should be playing for you right now is your bench. We can sort of deal with the zero homers and zero stolen bases so far but the .247 batting average isn't doing much to prevent owners from giving up on this utility man. Martin Prado, do me a favor and get the fuck off my team.
Pablo Sandoval (125 ADP). Somebody deep fry a chicken pot pie and force feed this Panda immediately. Sandoval dropped a ton of weight in the offseason but it's his offensive numbers that look as thin as a holocaust survivor. Pablo is hovering around the Mendoza line with weak power numbers which means his checking account will be a little lighter than anticipated when he files for free agency this winter. Pablo, get off your diet and get the fuck off my team.
Will Venable (132 ADP). When you're the worst hitter on the Padres, you know you suck. Venable has 20/20 potential but right now he might finish the season as a 3/14 guy with a .180 average. Zero reason to have this man on your roster. Now get the fuck off my team, Will.
B.J. Upton (184 ADP). This man is broken. He's always had a hole in his swing and his new specs or new mechanics aren't doing a damn thing to shrink that hole. He's got great speed but it's really difficult to swipe bags when you're wearing a golden sombrero every night. Before you try a new toe tap, B.J., get the fuck off my team.
Khris Davis (189 ADP). Khris Davis was a very appealing late round pick due to the power this young man displayed at the end of last year. The problem is, once major league pitchers have time to look at tape and expose weaknesses, it's up to the young hitter to adjust, which Davis has not done. A 40/3 strikeout to walk ratio is hilarious and unless this dude lays off a couple pitches outside the zone, he's going to be back in the minors before the all star break. It took Chris Davis a few years to figure it out so maybe there is hope for this Khris Davis but until then, get the fuck off my team.