If there’s one thing that new MLB commissioner is known for in his short tenure, it’s the pace of play issue. Manfred has tossed out more pitches than Yu Darvish with it comes to trying to sell the league and fans on innovations to speed up games with some ideas looking promising, while others look preposterous. Lost in all of the arguments on whether or not these ideas will ultimately benefit teams and fans is the commish’s goal of making all games flow better so everyone can stay engaged throughout the game as much as possible. The end result might be a game that is only reduced ten minutes in total time but feels much faster because the down time within the game has been trimmed away.
Your fantasy commish has also realized that our attention spans and free time are at a premium, which is why I’m hoping to improve the pace of play on our monthly recaps. Instead of me getting stressed out at producing an all-encompassing look at every team and everything that happened over the last 30 days, I’m aiming to produce smaller recaps on a slightly more frequent basis, which will hopefully result in an easier read for you, too.
The idea here is to cover each team at least a little bit each time but instead of 12 sentences dedicated towards all 12 teams, I’ll try to focus more words on 3-4 teams each time out and then drop little one liners for everyone else to help pick up the pace around here. Hopefully this means a faster experience for you and me when we choose to commit time to the Shocker League. I’ll try to go in order of my commissioner-based power rankings and I’ll attempt to spread the love around equally for every team so you aren’t shortchanged over and over again. Like some other ideas we’ve had, we’ll have to see how this plays out but I’ll just try to type out these recaps when I have time and hopefully that means you’ll be able to get on with your day while also staying up to speed with your squad and the 11 other fantasy teams in our league.
1. Harry Doyle
Team Xtreme is pushing the power limits to a place we have never seen before. We knew this team was going to do some serious flexing this year but Matt laid down on the bench, loaded up the bar with plates, and pounded out more reps with more weight than we ever envisioned. Ryan Zimmerman has been mostly useless that last three years but a new approach is reminding us of how good he can be when healthy. Eric Thames is another muscle-bound bopper who is turning on pitches while also turning into the most interesting player in baseball. Many people doubted that Thames' home run swing would translate from Korea back to The States as he lasted 18 rounds on draft night but Matt is getting power from all places and looks like the old bully who will be book-checking our weak asses in the hallway all year. Matty’s 26 homers last week was only three fewer than Castillo’s team has hit all year and we might have to start treating Matty’s slow pitch softball team with a three homer per game limit in order to neutralize his bomb squad.
2. Snail Tails
Jeff is hoping 2017 is the year he finally breaks through and wins some regular season and/or postseason titles, a feat he’s been so close to every year without much to show for. Jeff’s off to a promising start so far, just like his boy Bryce.
3. Mike Hawk
There’s a correlation between top teams in our league and power numbers produced by these teams and Tim Downs has also joined the power party in 2017. No human exemplifies real and potential power better than Aaron Judge, who wears number 99 on his back, which is the same number we would put for all of his body attributes if we created a maxed-out behemoth player in MLB The Show.
Your fantasy commish has also realized that our attention spans and free time are at a premium, which is why I’m hoping to improve the pace of play on our monthly recaps. Instead of me getting stressed out at producing an all-encompassing look at every team and everything that happened over the last 30 days, I’m aiming to produce smaller recaps on a slightly more frequent basis, which will hopefully result in an easier read for you, too.
The idea here is to cover each team at least a little bit each time but instead of 12 sentences dedicated towards all 12 teams, I’ll try to focus more words on 3-4 teams each time out and then drop little one liners for everyone else to help pick up the pace around here. Hopefully this means a faster experience for you and me when we choose to commit time to the Shocker League. I’ll try to go in order of my commissioner-based power rankings and I’ll attempt to spread the love around equally for every team so you aren’t shortchanged over and over again. Like some other ideas we’ve had, we’ll have to see how this plays out but I’ll just try to type out these recaps when I have time and hopefully that means you’ll be able to get on with your day while also staying up to speed with your squad and the 11 other fantasy teams in our league.
1. Harry Doyle
Team Xtreme is pushing the power limits to a place we have never seen before. We knew this team was going to do some serious flexing this year but Matt laid down on the bench, loaded up the bar with plates, and pounded out more reps with more weight than we ever envisioned. Ryan Zimmerman has been mostly useless that last three years but a new approach is reminding us of how good he can be when healthy. Eric Thames is another muscle-bound bopper who is turning on pitches while also turning into the most interesting player in baseball. Many people doubted that Thames' home run swing would translate from Korea back to The States as he lasted 18 rounds on draft night but Matt is getting power from all places and looks like the old bully who will be book-checking our weak asses in the hallway all year. Matty’s 26 homers last week was only three fewer than Castillo’s team has hit all year and we might have to start treating Matty’s slow pitch softball team with a three homer per game limit in order to neutralize his bomb squad.
2. Snail Tails
Jeff is hoping 2017 is the year he finally breaks through and wins some regular season and/or postseason titles, a feat he’s been so close to every year without much to show for. Jeff’s off to a promising start so far, just like his boy Bryce.
3. Mike Hawk
There’s a correlation between top teams in our league and power numbers produced by these teams and Tim Downs has also joined the power party in 2017. No human exemplifies real and potential power better than Aaron Judge, who wears number 99 on his back, which is the same number we would put for all of his body attributes if we created a maxed-out behemoth player in MLB The Show.
4. Stroke My Shaft
Zach would probably be higher on this list if his team didn’t just barf up an 8.26 ERA with a 1.86 WHIP out of nowhere last week. Won’t get much better with Thor becoming the latest victim of the New York Mets team doctor.
Zach would probably be higher on this list if his team didn’t just barf up an 8.26 ERA with a 1.86 WHIP out of nowhere last week. Won’t get much better with Thor becoming the latest victim of the New York Mets team doctor.
5. Fightin’ Buck Showalters
I wouldn’t have been surprised if Anthony Rendon was sitting on Meyer’s bench on Sunday based on his flaccid April but luckily for Meyer, Rendon was active and put up a week’s worth of stats on a Sunday afternoon.
I wouldn’t have been surprised if Anthony Rendon was sitting on Meyer’s bench on Sunday based on his flaccid April but luckily for Meyer, Rendon was active and put up a week’s worth of stats on a Sunday afternoon.
6. Fred McGriffey Jr.
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for Starling Marte.
7. Arvada Astros
This team pitches like Randy Johnson, which is great. Unfortunately they also hit like Randy Johnson, which is awkward and tough to watch. The Perez Boyz might have better hitting stats if they didn’t continually roster a player who was optioned to AAA back on April 13th.
8. New Dalai Big Hitters
A classic case of false advertising again by Runge and Jon, claiming a “Big Hitting” team. If you blindfolded any of these batters and gave them a stick, the piñata would escape with only a few minor bruises and a belly full of candy bars. The pitching staff is very much worthy of a team name as they are quite possibly the best our league has to offer.
9. The People’s Champ
Arch is the exact opposite of the two teams mentioned above. Somehow Arch was able to end April with a team ERA over 5.00, which has been a total team effort. Pretty much every single pitcher on this squad has gotten their brains beaten in at some point this year, often multiple times. Adam Wainright and Bryan Archuleta usually represent stability and precision in baseball but Wainright and Arch have missed their target in embarrassing fashion so far this year.
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for Starling Marte.
7. Arvada Astros
This team pitches like Randy Johnson, which is great. Unfortunately they also hit like Randy Johnson, which is awkward and tough to watch. The Perez Boyz might have better hitting stats if they didn’t continually roster a player who was optioned to AAA back on April 13th.
8. New Dalai Big Hitters
A classic case of false advertising again by Runge and Jon, claiming a “Big Hitting” team. If you blindfolded any of these batters and gave them a stick, the piñata would escape with only a few minor bruises and a belly full of candy bars. The pitching staff is very much worthy of a team name as they are quite possibly the best our league has to offer.
9. The People’s Champ
Arch is the exact opposite of the two teams mentioned above. Somehow Arch was able to end April with a team ERA over 5.00, which has been a total team effort. Pretty much every single pitcher on this squad has gotten their brains beaten in at some point this year, often multiple times. Adam Wainright and Bryan Archuleta usually represent stability and precision in baseball but Wainright and Arch have missed their target in embarrassing fashion so far this year.
10. Deez Nutz
Appropriate team name, which I’m guessing was somewhat inspired by Dee Gordon. This team is skinny, weak, and could use some synthetic strength at the moment.
11. Eaton Passports
This team looks a lot like the Blue Jays in that they both are not very good without Josh Donaldson in the lineup and they both have some serious work to do if they want to climb out of this early season hole.
12. Rotting Corpse
Well, it turns out Brandon Guyer won’t be the savior for this franchise after all. The slumping hitters on this team will get better and Chris Sale will start to get some run support soon, so this corpse should get some life eventually.
There you have it, a well-paced, single spaced Shocker recap. Go spend that extra free time thinking about trade offers to send me now.
And finally, we’ll close with our April roto standings.
Appropriate team name, which I’m guessing was somewhat inspired by Dee Gordon. This team is skinny, weak, and could use some synthetic strength at the moment.
11. Eaton Passports
This team looks a lot like the Blue Jays in that they both are not very good without Josh Donaldson in the lineup and they both have some serious work to do if they want to climb out of this early season hole.
12. Rotting Corpse
Well, it turns out Brandon Guyer won’t be the savior for this franchise after all. The slumping hitters on this team will get better and Chris Sale will start to get some run support soon, so this corpse should get some life eventually.
There you have it, a well-paced, single spaced Shocker recap. Go spend that extra free time thinking about trade offers to send me now.
And finally, we’ll close with our April roto standings.