What do you get when you have to cover the end of the regular season, hand out awards, and preview the Shocker Fantasy Baseball League playoffs? A very short intro.
Tenniballs to the Wall
The regular season title was a three man race between Matt Suer, Castillo, and the commish as we entered the final week but just like Jimmie Johnson is to NASCAR, it seems like the same guy always wins the race lately. All three owners drove in first place for at least a lap but when the regular season checkered flag was waved, it was DeFelice's Tuaca sponsored car that crossed the finish line first. Tenniballs to the Wall finished the season on a tear with a .717 winning percentage over the final five weeks to win a piece of paper with Benjamin Franklin’s face on it and more bragging rights. Jerome can thank his hitters for being numero uno as a unit and he should send a big fat thank you card to Matt Maydew for helping him win this title. Carlos Santana and Adrian Beltre have been mashers ever since donning the Tenniball hats and have pumped up every stat category for the commish since being traded. Jerome might consider giving a performance bonus to Melky Cabrera, Anthony Rendon, Corey Dickerson, and Alexei Ramirez, who all were late draft picks or FA pickups, have played great all year, and closed the season strong. The pitching staff has gotten a little better as well and has done enough to help the commish correct a lot of the ERA and WHIP blowups he endured for most of the year. Jerome never seems to have the top hitter or pitcher on his team but he’s done enough coaching to collect enough pieces to be the #1 seed for the second straight season.
Smartest Move of the Season: Drafting Melky Cabrera in the 21st round
Dumbest Move of the Season: Dropping Corey Kluber in April
Harry Doyle
Matty fought tooth and nail down the stretch and finished the season strong but it wasn’t quite strong enough to earn that regular season title he coveted. You’ll see later on that just because Matty isn’t the #1 seed doesn’t mean he's not the best owner with the best team as Harry Doyle has been the top roto team for most of the season and that is still true today. The batting has cooled off a tad for this team with a sudden lack of power that could be concerning for Matt as we enter the playoffs, though. Jose Reyes and Devin Mesoraco have stayed healthy and kept hitting all the way through but couldn’t carry a team that saw their power numbers diminish down the stretch and that might've cost them a couple of wins in the standings ultimately. Matt made one eye opening move before the deadline by picking up Bryce Harper, who has possibly been the most frustrating player to own all season and will be very interesting to watch this risk/reward move come playoff time. Matt gets a lot of victories on the mound and guys like Kershaw, Iwakuma, Price, Roark, and Alex Wood have done more than enough to fill Matt full of enjoyment much like Jack Daniels does to Harry Doyle in the booth. Matty might’ve fallen short of his initial goal of winning a regular season title but with our second ranked hitting and pitching units, Harry Doyle could very well be considered the favorite as we open the playoffs.
Smartest Move of the Season: Drafting Jose Abreu in the 12th round
Dumbest Move of the Season: Dropping Corey Kluber in April
Ninja Blacksox
Before Castillo’s 12-0-0 drubbing of Granger in the final week of the season, it was looking pretty bleak for a team that’s been towards the top all season long. Castillo’s players haven’t been playing up to snuff lately and you can definitely point to the plethora of injuries as to why this team threw weaker punches in the late rounds of the season. Castillo has five players currently on the DL, two of which he could probably just drop at this point, but when names like McCann, McCutchen, and Tanaka are all on the shelf, it’s tough for any fantasy team to rack up the wins. Castillo has gotten every last drop out of Victor Martinez who has been incredible and healthy all year and was on a clubbing mission down the stretch. Castillo never got what he expected out of Longoria, Alvarez, Andrus, or J.J. Hardy but Castillo’s been able to compensate with the best pitching staff in our league. Felix Hernandez is in the midst of a streak of 17 starts throwing at least 7 innings and giving up 2 or less earned runs, which is the longest streak of its kind and also magnifies just how consistently awesome King Felix has been all year long. Felix won our Pitcher of the Year award, is our hottest pitcher as we start the playoffs, and has the coolest cheering section in the big leagues.
Tenniballs to the Wall
The regular season title was a three man race between Matt Suer, Castillo, and the commish as we entered the final week but just like Jimmie Johnson is to NASCAR, it seems like the same guy always wins the race lately. All three owners drove in first place for at least a lap but when the regular season checkered flag was waved, it was DeFelice's Tuaca sponsored car that crossed the finish line first. Tenniballs to the Wall finished the season on a tear with a .717 winning percentage over the final five weeks to win a piece of paper with Benjamin Franklin’s face on it and more bragging rights. Jerome can thank his hitters for being numero uno as a unit and he should send a big fat thank you card to Matt Maydew for helping him win this title. Carlos Santana and Adrian Beltre have been mashers ever since donning the Tenniball hats and have pumped up every stat category for the commish since being traded. Jerome might consider giving a performance bonus to Melky Cabrera, Anthony Rendon, Corey Dickerson, and Alexei Ramirez, who all were late draft picks or FA pickups, have played great all year, and closed the season strong. The pitching staff has gotten a little better as well and has done enough to help the commish correct a lot of the ERA and WHIP blowups he endured for most of the year. Jerome never seems to have the top hitter or pitcher on his team but he’s done enough coaching to collect enough pieces to be the #1 seed for the second straight season.
Smartest Move of the Season: Drafting Melky Cabrera in the 21st round
Dumbest Move of the Season: Dropping Corey Kluber in April
Harry Doyle
Matty fought tooth and nail down the stretch and finished the season strong but it wasn’t quite strong enough to earn that regular season title he coveted. You’ll see later on that just because Matty isn’t the #1 seed doesn’t mean he's not the best owner with the best team as Harry Doyle has been the top roto team for most of the season and that is still true today. The batting has cooled off a tad for this team with a sudden lack of power that could be concerning for Matt as we enter the playoffs, though. Jose Reyes and Devin Mesoraco have stayed healthy and kept hitting all the way through but couldn’t carry a team that saw their power numbers diminish down the stretch and that might've cost them a couple of wins in the standings ultimately. Matt made one eye opening move before the deadline by picking up Bryce Harper, who has possibly been the most frustrating player to own all season and will be very interesting to watch this risk/reward move come playoff time. Matt gets a lot of victories on the mound and guys like Kershaw, Iwakuma, Price, Roark, and Alex Wood have done more than enough to fill Matt full of enjoyment much like Jack Daniels does to Harry Doyle in the booth. Matty might’ve fallen short of his initial goal of winning a regular season title but with our second ranked hitting and pitching units, Harry Doyle could very well be considered the favorite as we open the playoffs.
Smartest Move of the Season: Drafting Jose Abreu in the 12th round
Dumbest Move of the Season: Dropping Corey Kluber in April
Ninja Blacksox
Before Castillo’s 12-0-0 drubbing of Granger in the final week of the season, it was looking pretty bleak for a team that’s been towards the top all season long. Castillo’s players haven’t been playing up to snuff lately and you can definitely point to the plethora of injuries as to why this team threw weaker punches in the late rounds of the season. Castillo has five players currently on the DL, two of which he could probably just drop at this point, but when names like McCann, McCutchen, and Tanaka are all on the shelf, it’s tough for any fantasy team to rack up the wins. Castillo has gotten every last drop out of Victor Martinez who has been incredible and healthy all year and was on a clubbing mission down the stretch. Castillo never got what he expected out of Longoria, Alvarez, Andrus, or J.J. Hardy but Castillo’s been able to compensate with the best pitching staff in our league. Felix Hernandez is in the midst of a streak of 17 starts throwing at least 7 innings and giving up 2 or less earned runs, which is the longest streak of its kind and also magnifies just how consistently awesome King Felix has been all year long. Felix won our Pitcher of the Year award, is our hottest pitcher as we start the playoffs, and has the coolest cheering section in the big leagues.
Overall, Castillo has to be fine with his three seed but there’s no question hat if this team doesn't get a little healthier and a little better with the bats, it's going to be a two week ride for Michael James Castillo.
Smartest Move of the Season: Drafting Felix Hernandez in the third round
Dumbest Move of the Season: Drafting Evan Longoria in the second round
Piss On the Ball
There was only 2.5 games that separated our 4th and 7th place teams so while I have to give credit to Kevin for moving up to the four spot at the end of the season, there’s definitely no difference between his team and the 7th ranked team right now. In fact, if you absorb our roto standings with any seriousness, you might take Kevin less seriously than you do any of the other playoff teams. I’m not trying to take a piss on Piss On the Ball but this roster just doesn’t have the look of a champion right now. What I won’t urinate on is the ability of their GM and coach to get the most out of this flawed roster come playoff time. This team has actually played a little better down the stretch with a very un-Petty like lineup that favors speed and patience over power. Cano is starting to get his sweet swing working at Safeco and guys like Lucroy, Adrian Gonzalez, Dee Gordon, and Markakis have remained reliable batters for K.P. The pitching can experience more hot and cold fluctuations than our Colorado weather and now that Petty’s once great bullpen is showing major holes with Joe Nathan and Qualls crumbling down the stretch, it might be time Kevin streams some relievers while he’s at it. Give Kevin credit for managing this team to a fourth place spot in our standings but good luck figuring out how he did it or how he’s going to get it done the next six weeks of 2014.
Smartest Move of the Season: Drafting Felix Hernandez in the third round
Dumbest Move of the Season: Drafting Evan Longoria in the second round
Piss On the Ball
There was only 2.5 games that separated our 4th and 7th place teams so while I have to give credit to Kevin for moving up to the four spot at the end of the season, there’s definitely no difference between his team and the 7th ranked team right now. In fact, if you absorb our roto standings with any seriousness, you might take Kevin less seriously than you do any of the other playoff teams. I’m not trying to take a piss on Piss On the Ball but this roster just doesn’t have the look of a champion right now. What I won’t urinate on is the ability of their GM and coach to get the most out of this flawed roster come playoff time. This team has actually played a little better down the stretch with a very un-Petty like lineup that favors speed and patience over power. Cano is starting to get his sweet swing working at Safeco and guys like Lucroy, Adrian Gonzalez, Dee Gordon, and Markakis have remained reliable batters for K.P. The pitching can experience more hot and cold fluctuations than our Colorado weather and now that Petty’s once great bullpen is showing major holes with Joe Nathan and Qualls crumbling down the stretch, it might be time Kevin streams some relievers while he’s at it. Give Kevin credit for managing this team to a fourth place spot in our standings but good luck figuring out how he did it or how he’s going to get it done the next six weeks of 2014.
Stroke My Shaft
Zach’s team has slowed down since the all-star break and has the look of a worn down veteran who could use a day off or two to refresh their weary legs. The power has diminished significantly from early in the season and some of that has to do with injuries and some of that has to do with reduced performance from the big dogs on this roster. Carlos Gonzalez is the focus of Zach’s ire this season as he was a first round selection and has been as miserable to watch as the Rockies team has this summer. If he’s not striking out multiple times a game, CarGo can usually be found on the bench nursing an injury. The guy has been as fragile as the .79 cent hard tacos he pushes for Taco Bell every commercial break. CarGo isn’t the only unreliable Rockie as Charlie Blackmon has come back to reality and it’s a harsh one for our bearded friend. Blackmon’s overall numbers look pretty good but if you filter his last 30 or 50 games, he’s been one of the more unproductive regular outfielders in our league. Michael Morse forgot how to hit for power and even Puig hasn’t been flipping his bat as much as he's accustomed to lately. Paul O'Neill used to take his anger out on various dugout furniture and you can bet that Zach has open palm punched a few lamps in his living room after watching his team gently fly out repeatedly.
Zach’s team has slowed down since the all-star break and has the look of a worn down veteran who could use a day off or two to refresh their weary legs. The power has diminished significantly from early in the season and some of that has to do with injuries and some of that has to do with reduced performance from the big dogs on this roster. Carlos Gonzalez is the focus of Zach’s ire this season as he was a first round selection and has been as miserable to watch as the Rockies team has this summer. If he’s not striking out multiple times a game, CarGo can usually be found on the bench nursing an injury. The guy has been as fragile as the .79 cent hard tacos he pushes for Taco Bell every commercial break. CarGo isn’t the only unreliable Rockie as Charlie Blackmon has come back to reality and it’s a harsh one for our bearded friend. Blackmon’s overall numbers look pretty good but if you filter his last 30 or 50 games, he’s been one of the more unproductive regular outfielders in our league. Michael Morse forgot how to hit for power and even Puig hasn’t been flipping his bat as much as he's accustomed to lately. Paul O'Neill used to take his anger out on various dugout furniture and you can bet that Zach has open palm punched a few lamps in his living room after watching his team gently fly out repeatedly.
At least Suer has been able to stay in the middle of the pack due to a pitching staff that has kept the train on the tracks. Corey Kluber has to be in the conversation of top 5 AL pitchers right now as his ball is darting in every which direction and bringing a smile to Z’s face every fifth day. The rest of Zach’s rotation has been decent enough and Z. Suer did win 10 games in the final week of the regular season, albeit against Dew, so while this team needs to recharge their battery, it’s also a team that shouldn’t be written off as we start the playoffs.
Smartest Move of the Season: Picking up Corey Kluber in April
Dumbest Move of the Season: Drafting Carlos Gonzalez in the first round
Head First Dumb Fucks
I haven’t talked to Jeff about his roster at any point this season but I have to think his personal opinion of his current roster is more optimistic than it’s been all season long. The reason I think this is true is because he swung a trade to pickup the hottest batter in baseball lately in Josh Harrison and finally rid himself of the uber frustrating Bryce Harper before the deadline. It isn’t all roses for J. Petty though as Tulowitzki’s ticking time bomb finally went off and his hip along with Wacha’s elbow don’t look like they’re in much of a hurry to return this year. Overall this team is playing better over the past month and despite injuries to two of his better players, the team as a whole is trending in the right direction. You can’t say enough about Josh Harrison’s season and it’s only gotten better since Jeff swung a trade to bring over the Pirate that has shivered the timbers of all opponents since. Petty could go for some more Todd Frazier home runs but he’s one of the few batters that have seen a dip in production since the all star break. The pitchers have improved since the break as well, even if it is only incrementally. Latos, Ross, Scherzer, and Holland have been pretty fun to watch lately and it will be very interesting to see how the addition of Darvish affects this team. Yu won't help Jeff at all in round one but if he does advance, Yu will be a nice ace up his sleeve for the next opponent.
Smartest Move of the Season: Picking up Tyson Ross in May
Dumbest Move of the Season: Drafting Bryce Harper in the 2nd round
Fightin’ Buck Showalters
Back in the 2000’s, no matter how many times Jeff told himself not to get drunk and make a stupid decision, he would always find a way to revert back to his bad habits. Whether it be going for a hot dog by himself after the bars let everyone out or getting behind the wheel after a night of drinking, Granger was pulled into the darkness seemingly every month. We’re seeing the same self-destructive pattern take form this season as Jeff’s once balanced team is starting to turn back into a unit that relies only on hitting to win games while the pitching gets drunk and drives into a lightpost. It’s not like this team is getting the snot kicked out of them because outside of the final week, this team was actually winning at a nice rate but the pitching on this team is slowly deteriorating and it could cost Meyer in the playoffs. Without doing the work for Jeff, let me just say there is one player on his current roster that needs to be removed immediately. This person has been awful at baseball all season long and is actually doing more good for Jeff now than he did back when he was actually on an MLB roster. The rest of this pitching staff is starting to crumble as Mark Buehrhle’s mediocre stuff is getting exposed in a big way while guys like Gray, Teheran, and Niese haven’t had too many dominating starts lately. The good news for Meyer is his batters have gone back to mashing baseballs like they are apt to do. Brett Gardner is turning into a complete player before our eyes, Duda has been hitting moon shots, and even Carlos Beltran is getting back into form. Meyer never quite got what he had hoped for from Miguel Cabrera this year but Michael Brantley has made up for it by being a five tool player and our league’s most valuable player as well. All an owner needs to do is win more games than he loses to advance and Meyer better hope the bats stay hot or else he doesn't stand much of a chance to advance if it comes down to pitching. Going from the three seed to the seven seed at the end of the year isn't necessarily a death sentence but I'm guessing Jeff would rather not see Matt Suer waiting for him in the playoffs instead of a weaker team.
Smartest Move of the Season: Trading Desmond Jennings for Sonny Gray
Dumbest Move of the Season: Drafting Allen Craig in the fifth round
Dark Helmets
Arch and Rickey have had a very un-Arch and Rickey like season with a team that is not doing the little things like they usually do. This team has relied on the power more than usual and while they certainly have increased their home runs and RBI’s compared to season’s past, I think there is a net loss in the overall hitting numbers for this team. Too many K’s, not enough runs, and certainly not enough stolen bases for this team to make a serious attempt of improving their playoff spot all season long. Sure, there have been moments of greatness from guys like Ortiz, Cruz, Sandoval, Kipnis, and Aramis Ramirez but those moments have been coupled with extended dry periods for these streaky sluggers. The loss of Goldschmidt for the rest of the year would be soul crushing for any team and is even more damaging to this team that needs some help. Where Dark Helmets would usually make up for it with their pitching, that too isn’t what it used to be. Wainwright has been tremendous all season, don’t get me wrong, but he’s looked a little worn down lately and the rest of the starters on this team not named Cole Hammels look incapable of stepping their game up. There can be no complaints about Huston Street, who has been our best RP all year but Hughes, Zimmermann, Simon, and a couple of streamers just aren’t getting the job done lately. This team has had some very good weeks and some very ugly ones down the stretch so we shouldn’t dismiss these dual owners come playoff time but we also won’t be overly concerned if we happen to see the Dark Helmets on our schedule the rest of the way. They have been too easy to fend off and this year and frankly Arch and Rickey have surrounded themselves with a bunch of assholes in 2014.
Smartest Move of the Season: Picking up Corey Kluber in April
Dumbest Move of the Season: Drafting Carlos Gonzalez in the first round
Head First Dumb Fucks
I haven’t talked to Jeff about his roster at any point this season but I have to think his personal opinion of his current roster is more optimistic than it’s been all season long. The reason I think this is true is because he swung a trade to pickup the hottest batter in baseball lately in Josh Harrison and finally rid himself of the uber frustrating Bryce Harper before the deadline. It isn’t all roses for J. Petty though as Tulowitzki’s ticking time bomb finally went off and his hip along with Wacha’s elbow don’t look like they’re in much of a hurry to return this year. Overall this team is playing better over the past month and despite injuries to two of his better players, the team as a whole is trending in the right direction. You can’t say enough about Josh Harrison’s season and it’s only gotten better since Jeff swung a trade to bring over the Pirate that has shivered the timbers of all opponents since. Petty could go for some more Todd Frazier home runs but he’s one of the few batters that have seen a dip in production since the all star break. The pitchers have improved since the break as well, even if it is only incrementally. Latos, Ross, Scherzer, and Holland have been pretty fun to watch lately and it will be very interesting to see how the addition of Darvish affects this team. Yu won't help Jeff at all in round one but if he does advance, Yu will be a nice ace up his sleeve for the next opponent.
Smartest Move of the Season: Picking up Tyson Ross in May
Dumbest Move of the Season: Drafting Bryce Harper in the 2nd round
Fightin’ Buck Showalters
Back in the 2000’s, no matter how many times Jeff told himself not to get drunk and make a stupid decision, he would always find a way to revert back to his bad habits. Whether it be going for a hot dog by himself after the bars let everyone out or getting behind the wheel after a night of drinking, Granger was pulled into the darkness seemingly every month. We’re seeing the same self-destructive pattern take form this season as Jeff’s once balanced team is starting to turn back into a unit that relies only on hitting to win games while the pitching gets drunk and drives into a lightpost. It’s not like this team is getting the snot kicked out of them because outside of the final week, this team was actually winning at a nice rate but the pitching on this team is slowly deteriorating and it could cost Meyer in the playoffs. Without doing the work for Jeff, let me just say there is one player on his current roster that needs to be removed immediately. This person has been awful at baseball all season long and is actually doing more good for Jeff now than he did back when he was actually on an MLB roster. The rest of this pitching staff is starting to crumble as Mark Buehrhle’s mediocre stuff is getting exposed in a big way while guys like Gray, Teheran, and Niese haven’t had too many dominating starts lately. The good news for Meyer is his batters have gone back to mashing baseballs like they are apt to do. Brett Gardner is turning into a complete player before our eyes, Duda has been hitting moon shots, and even Carlos Beltran is getting back into form. Meyer never quite got what he had hoped for from Miguel Cabrera this year but Michael Brantley has made up for it by being a five tool player and our league’s most valuable player as well. All an owner needs to do is win more games than he loses to advance and Meyer better hope the bats stay hot or else he doesn't stand much of a chance to advance if it comes down to pitching. Going from the three seed to the seven seed at the end of the year isn't necessarily a death sentence but I'm guessing Jeff would rather not see Matt Suer waiting for him in the playoffs instead of a weaker team.
Smartest Move of the Season: Trading Desmond Jennings for Sonny Gray
Dumbest Move of the Season: Drafting Allen Craig in the fifth round
Dark Helmets
Arch and Rickey have had a very un-Arch and Rickey like season with a team that is not doing the little things like they usually do. This team has relied on the power more than usual and while they certainly have increased their home runs and RBI’s compared to season’s past, I think there is a net loss in the overall hitting numbers for this team. Too many K’s, not enough runs, and certainly not enough stolen bases for this team to make a serious attempt of improving their playoff spot all season long. Sure, there have been moments of greatness from guys like Ortiz, Cruz, Sandoval, Kipnis, and Aramis Ramirez but those moments have been coupled with extended dry periods for these streaky sluggers. The loss of Goldschmidt for the rest of the year would be soul crushing for any team and is even more damaging to this team that needs some help. Where Dark Helmets would usually make up for it with their pitching, that too isn’t what it used to be. Wainwright has been tremendous all season, don’t get me wrong, but he’s looked a little worn down lately and the rest of the starters on this team not named Cole Hammels look incapable of stepping their game up. There can be no complaints about Huston Street, who has been our best RP all year but Hughes, Zimmermann, Simon, and a couple of streamers just aren’t getting the job done lately. This team has had some very good weeks and some very ugly ones down the stretch so we shouldn’t dismiss these dual owners come playoff time but we also won’t be overly concerned if we happen to see the Dark Helmets on our schedule the rest of the way. They have been too easy to fend off and this year and frankly Arch and Rickey have surrounded themselves with a bunch of assholes in 2014.
Smartest Move of the Season: Drafting Nelson Cruz in the 12th round
Dumbest Move of the Season: Trading away Starlin Castro for Shin Soo Choo
The four teams that failed to make the playoffs did so for very understandable reasons and that is because they gave less fucks than the rest of us. So as not to waste our time on these teams, I’m going to write a one sentence summary of these teams for the season and we’ll move on.
Heads UP
Had the usual trajectory of starting as a middle of the pack team and slowly declining out of contention come July.
Bullpen Sausage
Same as every year, power hitting and absolutely zero pitching or baserunning.
Jose Can You See
Same as every year, not good enough to be anything other than the league's punching bag.
Dew Crew
Fantastic display of crappiness from start to finish.
Now lets take a look at the final roto standings of the season.
Dumbest Move of the Season: Trading away Starlin Castro for Shin Soo Choo
The four teams that failed to make the playoffs did so for very understandable reasons and that is because they gave less fucks than the rest of us. So as not to waste our time on these teams, I’m going to write a one sentence summary of these teams for the season and we’ll move on.
Heads UP
Had the usual trajectory of starting as a middle of the pack team and slowly declining out of contention come July.
Bullpen Sausage
Same as every year, power hitting and absolutely zero pitching or baserunning.
Jose Can You See
Same as every year, not good enough to be anything other than the league's punching bag.
Dew Crew
Fantastic display of crappiness from start to finish.
Now lets take a look at the final roto standings of the season.
Roto Noto's:
Before you close your browser, spend a minute previewing our playoffs.
#1 Tenniballs to the Wall vs. #8 Dark Helmets
Arch and Rick have the #1 seed exactly where they want him, right? We know the Cinderella story that took place two years ago when Arch and Rickey went all the way as an eight seed to capture the gold but can they repeat the feat in 2014? Probably not. While this team certainly has the capability to go on a hot streak, Cinderella’s glass slippers will be replaced with cement boots when Jerome sinks them in the playoffs. Jerome’s team isn’t exactly setting the fantasy world ablaze lately but they do look like the stronger team by a fair amount. If the bats stay on course, Jerome should win enough hitting categories but if Arch can somehow take home 4+ pitching categories then the 1 seed will have to sweat out the final couple of days. Jerome has dominated the season series and it likely continues for one more matchup.
Regular season series: Tenniballs over Helmets 21-3-0
Who advances? Tenniballs does 7-3-2
#2 Harry Doyle vs. #7 Fightin’ Buck Showalters
Matt’s team is probably the best team in our league so Meyer is going to have to call all hands on deck to fire off as many cannons in M. Suer’s direction these next two weeks. Harry Doyle did suffer a pretty demoralizing loss to the Showalters a few weeks ago so either they are going to enjoy this sweet revenge or they'll tip their cap to Meyer in defeat. Matty should take home at least four pitching categories but he’ll have to make sure he keeps pace with the power of Meyer’s lineup or it could get iffy. If Miggy gets hot for Meyer or Bryce finds his swing for Matty, it could be the difference.
Regular season series: Showalters over Doyle 12-10-2
Who advances? Doyle does 7-4-1
#3 Ninja Blacksox vs. #6 Head First Dumb Fucks
The Blacksox are #3 thanks to the top pitching unit in our league and Castillo will get three starts from Felix and Lester to go along with a solid rotation and superb bullpen. The Blacksox were already vulnerable with the bats but a rash of injuries definitely opens the door for Jeff Petty to pull the upset. The Dumb Fucks have been of average intelligence lately as they are at least not sliding head first into bags recently but rather they are taking leisurely strolls around the bases after sending a pitch 400 feet the other direction. These fucks aren't dumb enough to think they can hang with Castillo's pitching but there are some guys on the roster that can rack up some K’s and QS’s if needed. Hold onto your hats, folks, this should be a tight one.
Regular season series: Dumb Fucks over Sox 8-4-0
Who advances? Dumb Fucks do 5-5-2 (win tiebreaker)
#4 Piss On The Ball vs. #5 Stoke My Shaft
We got a meeting of two wishy-washy teams here with lots of possible outcomes. The Shafts have the slight advantage in the hitting and pitching departments but we’ve seen them forget how to hit for days at a time so there could be plenty of chances for the Pissers to pounce. Zach has to get more from Strasburg this series and Petty will hope that he picks the right streamers and keeps the sticks somewhat heated. There should be lots of transactions and lead changes in this matchup and I could see a final Sunday filled with tension as this one goes down to the wire. This should be a fun one to follow.
Regular season series: POTB over SMS 13-9-2
Who advances? Piss On The Ball does 6-5-1
I’m sure you guys have already spread out the bunting in your living room to signify the start of the fantasy playoffs and I hope your phones are charged because I anticipate a lot of score checking from the remaining eight teams in this league. I'll check back with everyone in a couple weeks where you'll either be glued to our baseball bracket or fully focused on fantasy football depending on the final score on our baseball boxscores.
- For another month, Matty is our best team statistically. Not quite as nice as winning the regular season title but possibly a sign of things to come in the playoffs.
- Nobody has a wider gap between hitting and pitching than Castillo does.
- There is a definite line between the haves and the have not's and that line is between Castillo and Jeff Petty.
- Once again, the numbers are not kind to Kevin.
- Tim had a pretty swell pitching staff but once again could not hit the ball.
- Jeff Petty and Zach are the most balanced playoff teams.
- Lance's pitching went to absolute shit once we hit July on the calendar.
- Maydew might want to recruit another friend to avoid this level of embarrassment again.
Before you close your browser, spend a minute previewing our playoffs.
#1 Tenniballs to the Wall vs. #8 Dark Helmets
Arch and Rick have the #1 seed exactly where they want him, right? We know the Cinderella story that took place two years ago when Arch and Rickey went all the way as an eight seed to capture the gold but can they repeat the feat in 2014? Probably not. While this team certainly has the capability to go on a hot streak, Cinderella’s glass slippers will be replaced with cement boots when Jerome sinks them in the playoffs. Jerome’s team isn’t exactly setting the fantasy world ablaze lately but they do look like the stronger team by a fair amount. If the bats stay on course, Jerome should win enough hitting categories but if Arch can somehow take home 4+ pitching categories then the 1 seed will have to sweat out the final couple of days. Jerome has dominated the season series and it likely continues for one more matchup.
Regular season series: Tenniballs over Helmets 21-3-0
Who advances? Tenniballs does 7-3-2
#2 Harry Doyle vs. #7 Fightin’ Buck Showalters
Matt’s team is probably the best team in our league so Meyer is going to have to call all hands on deck to fire off as many cannons in M. Suer’s direction these next two weeks. Harry Doyle did suffer a pretty demoralizing loss to the Showalters a few weeks ago so either they are going to enjoy this sweet revenge or they'll tip their cap to Meyer in defeat. Matty should take home at least four pitching categories but he’ll have to make sure he keeps pace with the power of Meyer’s lineup or it could get iffy. If Miggy gets hot for Meyer or Bryce finds his swing for Matty, it could be the difference.
Regular season series: Showalters over Doyle 12-10-2
Who advances? Doyle does 7-4-1
#3 Ninja Blacksox vs. #6 Head First Dumb Fucks
The Blacksox are #3 thanks to the top pitching unit in our league and Castillo will get three starts from Felix and Lester to go along with a solid rotation and superb bullpen. The Blacksox were already vulnerable with the bats but a rash of injuries definitely opens the door for Jeff Petty to pull the upset. The Dumb Fucks have been of average intelligence lately as they are at least not sliding head first into bags recently but rather they are taking leisurely strolls around the bases after sending a pitch 400 feet the other direction. These fucks aren't dumb enough to think they can hang with Castillo's pitching but there are some guys on the roster that can rack up some K’s and QS’s if needed. Hold onto your hats, folks, this should be a tight one.
Regular season series: Dumb Fucks over Sox 8-4-0
Who advances? Dumb Fucks do 5-5-2 (win tiebreaker)
#4 Piss On The Ball vs. #5 Stoke My Shaft
We got a meeting of two wishy-washy teams here with lots of possible outcomes. The Shafts have the slight advantage in the hitting and pitching departments but we’ve seen them forget how to hit for days at a time so there could be plenty of chances for the Pissers to pounce. Zach has to get more from Strasburg this series and Petty will hope that he picks the right streamers and keeps the sticks somewhat heated. There should be lots of transactions and lead changes in this matchup and I could see a final Sunday filled with tension as this one goes down to the wire. This should be a fun one to follow.
Regular season series: POTB over SMS 13-9-2
Who advances? Piss On The Ball does 6-5-1
I’m sure you guys have already spread out the bunting in your living room to signify the start of the fantasy playoffs and I hope your phones are charged because I anticipate a lot of score checking from the remaining eight teams in this league. I'll check back with everyone in a couple weeks where you'll either be glued to our baseball bracket or fully focused on fantasy football depending on the final score on our baseball boxscores.