Put your rental tux back on because it's time to honor our second inductee into the Dirty Dozen hall of fame. The next hall of famer was a consistently great wide receiver in our fantasy league who went about his business with a polarizing personality. This man wore out his welcome pretty frequently with whatever NFL team he was on but he was a welcome sight for any fantasy owner that could have him. The man had a body like Adonis and loved to draw the attention of cornerbacks and pundits alike. He was the man many loved to hate who also "loved me some me" and by now you know that we're ready to induct Terrell Owens into our D12 HoF.
T.O. was unpredictable, mouthy, and selfish during most of his time in the NFL but when he was actually playing the game, he was reliable, steady, and studly. Owens enjoyed a long run of success in our league as a receiver that would almost always rank in the top 10 for his position and would usually leave enough of an impression on his owner that he would pick T.O. again the following season. Owens played for five different NFL teams for the 11 years he was in D12 but he played for only four separate D12 owners during that same time. Owens was notorious for getting under the skin of quarterbacks, coaches, and owners throughout his NFL career but he was a model fantasy employee for whatever team he was on. Owens never ranked as the top wide receiver in our league for any particular season but he did rank 2nd four times and finished as a top 10 WR seven times. Owens was always linked to Randy Moss during his D12 career and even though Owens never had the highest of highs that Moss did, he was a much more consistent player and racked up more fantasy points and PAR for the eleven years they both played in our league. Owens was great in the red zone by gathering double digit touchdowns in eight of eleven seasons and he was a 1,000 yard receiver in eight fantasy seasons as well. Mike Castillo owned Owens for four consecutive seasons, which happened to be T.O.'s prime and T.O. went back to Castillo for one more ride in 2008 while with the Cowboys. Owens also spent three seasons on Zach's roster along with two years with the Pep's. Petty gave Owens a shot in 2009, which was Terrell's worst season while he was on the Bills. Owens ranks first in points scored and PAR accumulated by a receiver along with a myriad of memorable sound bites when he opened his mouth, which was often. Either way, Terrell had his D12 owners yelling "OWENS! OWENS! OWENS! OWENS!" plenty on Sunday when he would out-muscle a defender in the endzone for a score. Let's take a gander at T.O.'s stats while in our league.
Owens was close but not quite great enough to take home a WR of the Year trophy but he was also in our league in the early years when individual trophies weren't passed out frequently. Owens never got his Super Bowl ring but he was a key piece to Castillo's championship team in 2002. You've heard this man do quite a bit of talking in front of a microphone so I'll hand it over and let T.O. do his thing. Gentlemen, your next inductee into the Dirty Dozen Hall of Fame...Terrell Owens.
[Terrell flashes his well recognized smile and steps to the podium]
Thank you commissioner, owners, and my 2014 Hall of Fame classmate, LaDainian Tomlinson. Something about players with initials getting inducted, right L.T.? [sparse laughs in the audience]. I'm honored to be considered worthy of such high praise and I've been humbled by this honor just like when I played for the Indoor Football League a couple years ago. I would like to offer my gratitude to Mike Castillo who had to deal with my antics on and off the field. Mr. Castillo stayed committed to me as a fantasy player and I will never forget the loyalty he showed me when all of his friends were calling him a peckerhead for drafting T.O. every year. It hurt me to see him take such abuse from the D12 media and owners committee. [Sniff] That's my owner...[sniff, sniff] that's my brother, man.
Eh hem. I don't want to forget to thank the Peppel brothers who started my D12 career off on a high note in 2000 and I also want to thank Zach Suer for adding me to his roster on three separate occasions. Who I most definitely do not want to thank are the sorry ass quarterbacks I played with throughout my fantasy career. To Jeff Garcia, without that silk scarf you call an arm and a cadence that made Richard Simmons sound manly, I would've probably won some wide receiver awards during my years with the 9ers. To Donovan McNabb's overweight ass..nice job puking your guts out on the field when I could barely walk in the Super Bowl, homie. I still wish I was yelling in your ear every day in life like I did on the sidelines. Mix in a salad, fatty. To Tony Romo, I shed tears in front of the world for you, bro. I want you to know right now that those tears were fake as Pam Anderson's titties, dogg. I was really crying about the fact that I would never get past the first round of the playoffs with a QB that makes Alex Rodriguez look composed in the playoffs. For the Bills and Bengals quarterbacks that I finished my career with, um, I don't really remember your names but I'm sure you sucked and probably are the reason nobody picked me back up in the league after 2010. In summary, I want every quarterback I played with to know you that I could've been a lot better without you. Suck a fart out of my ass, each and every one of you.
With all the pleasantries out of the way, I want to honestly thank y'all for being here to watch me get immortalized into this fake Hall of Fame. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to ask some people to get their popcorn ready because I'm literally a regional manager at one of Magic Johnson's movie theaters. Gotta keep paying for these illegitimate kids, man. See you later and if you see any actual NFL owners, tell them that Terrell is ready to be a difference maker on the outside for them.
[Terrell flashes his well recognized smile and steps to the podium]
Thank you commissioner, owners, and my 2014 Hall of Fame classmate, LaDainian Tomlinson. Something about players with initials getting inducted, right L.T.? [sparse laughs in the audience]. I'm honored to be considered worthy of such high praise and I've been humbled by this honor just like when I played for the Indoor Football League a couple years ago. I would like to offer my gratitude to Mike Castillo who had to deal with my antics on and off the field. Mr. Castillo stayed committed to me as a fantasy player and I will never forget the loyalty he showed me when all of his friends were calling him a peckerhead for drafting T.O. every year. It hurt me to see him take such abuse from the D12 media and owners committee. [Sniff] That's my owner...[sniff, sniff] that's my brother, man.
Eh hem. I don't want to forget to thank the Peppel brothers who started my D12 career off on a high note in 2000 and I also want to thank Zach Suer for adding me to his roster on three separate occasions. Who I most definitely do not want to thank are the sorry ass quarterbacks I played with throughout my fantasy career. To Jeff Garcia, without that silk scarf you call an arm and a cadence that made Richard Simmons sound manly, I would've probably won some wide receiver awards during my years with the 9ers. To Donovan McNabb's overweight ass..nice job puking your guts out on the field when I could barely walk in the Super Bowl, homie. I still wish I was yelling in your ear every day in life like I did on the sidelines. Mix in a salad, fatty. To Tony Romo, I shed tears in front of the world for you, bro. I want you to know right now that those tears were fake as Pam Anderson's titties, dogg. I was really crying about the fact that I would never get past the first round of the playoffs with a QB that makes Alex Rodriguez look composed in the playoffs. For the Bills and Bengals quarterbacks that I finished my career with, um, I don't really remember your names but I'm sure you sucked and probably are the reason nobody picked me back up in the league after 2010. In summary, I want every quarterback I played with to know you that I could've been a lot better without you. Suck a fart out of my ass, each and every one of you.
With all the pleasantries out of the way, I want to honestly thank y'all for being here to watch me get immortalized into this fake Hall of Fame. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to ask some people to get their popcorn ready because I'm literally a regional manager at one of Magic Johnson's movie theaters. Gotta keep paying for these illegitimate kids, man. See you later and if you see any actual NFL owners, tell them that Terrell is ready to be a difference maker on the outside for them.