Dave and Chris have a brotherly bond that has been strengthened by their long history together and will now be tested in the most pressure packed weekend of football; the D12 Fantasy Bowl. These two have shared a brotherhood on the WR football field, as roommates in Ft. Collins, and if you look closely at their family tree, you will see that these two are actually eskimo brothers. The lucky lady that connects these two is named Sarah Powell, who would make cameo appearances to Ft. Collins to get fed a constant stream of alcohol and later would usually be swallowing one of our penises before the night was done. Sarah took her talents to the small screen for a very short stint on ABC’s the Bachelor (I had no idea) and now our fantasy league will find out who will get the final rose handed to them in D12’s 17th Fantasy Bowl and the first Powell Bowl in our league’s history.
I briefly thought this might be a bad move to post this on our stupid D12 website for potential access from Mrs. Marvel and Mrs. Cress but then I remembered that no sane husband would ever subject his wife to the boring, rambling, nonsense that this website provides, so we’re all good here.
Back to the business at hand, we’ll break down the positional matchups for Powell Bowl I and we’ll try to guess which of these eskimo brothers will take the Granger Cup back to his igloo in 2016.
Quarterback
Super Bowl matchups are always more fun when there are great quarterbacks to watch and we have two D12 legends going up against each other this year. Drew Brees has been more inconsistent than Aaron Rodgers on a week-to-week basis but he will be playing in a dome against the worse secondary this week, so he might be the more reliable signal caller. Rodgers will play against the sinking Vikings who just let the Colts manhandle them, so they might continue their downward spiral by allowing Rodgers to connect on countless spiral completions this Sunday, too. Brees gets the slight edge but both of these QB’s are capable of winning the Cup for either team.
Prediction
Brees 24 points
Rodgers 18 points
Running Backs
Both of these teams have one reliable running back and a bunch of others capable of putting up 15+ points or being forgotten all together. Lamar Miller has found the endzone two weeks in a row but again had to come out of the game last week and there’s no telling which one of his 50 nagging injuries could flare up at any time on Saturday night. Dave will hopefully have the same sexual attraction towards Miller on Christmas eve night when he attempts to dry hump his beautiful ass because he’s in the end zone so much.
Back to the business at hand, we’ll break down the positional matchups for Powell Bowl I and we’ll try to guess which of these eskimo brothers will take the Granger Cup back to his igloo in 2016.
Quarterback
Super Bowl matchups are always more fun when there are great quarterbacks to watch and we have two D12 legends going up against each other this year. Drew Brees has been more inconsistent than Aaron Rodgers on a week-to-week basis but he will be playing in a dome against the worse secondary this week, so he might be the more reliable signal caller. Rodgers will play against the sinking Vikings who just let the Colts manhandle them, so they might continue their downward spiral by allowing Rodgers to connect on countless spiral completions this Sunday, too. Brees gets the slight edge but both of these QB’s are capable of winning the Cup for either team.
Prediction
Brees 24 points
Rodgers 18 points
Running Backs
Both of these teams have one reliable running back and a bunch of others capable of putting up 15+ points or being forgotten all together. Lamar Miller has found the endzone two weeks in a row but again had to come out of the game last week and there’s no telling which one of his 50 nagging injuries could flare up at any time on Saturday night. Dave will hopefully have the same sexual attraction towards Miller on Christmas eve night when he attempts to dry hump his beautiful ass because he’s in the end zone so much.
Dave has Kenneth Dixon in the RB2 slot as of this writing but Dave could easily turn to Ryan Mathews, Dion Lewis, or Kenneth Farrow to get the same or better production. We’ll see if he gets an itchy trigger finger leading up to kickoff. Chris has a similar conundrum with his RB2 options as Tevin Coleman and Mark Ingram are pretty great when they get the ball but can’t convince their head coaches to give it to them consistently. Ingram was screaming at Sean Payton last week and I think this is good news for Chris because I think Payton will say, “ok, fuck it, lets try not to vulture touchdowns and give it to Ingram a ton and see if he runs like a madman all game". This matchup could swing based on the hot play of Jordan Howard and if Howard continues to rack up the points, Dave might punch a hole in the wall like the good old days because Dave dropped him about five weeks ago, where he was since scooped up by Chris and could be the dagger for Dave ultimately.
Prediction
Dave’s RB’s: 18 points
Chris’s RB’s: 20 points
Wide Receivers
I’m saying that it could come down to each position battle to decide this game but it literally could come down to the WR matchup for Dave as Dez Bryant will be playing in the final game of week 16 and Dave might need him to have a vintage Dez Bryant night to capture the cup. Chris has the better WR1 but Dave has the overall WR advantage as Dez, Cooks, and DT all represent potential upside over Antonio Bryant and Devante Adams this week. Chris can swing this in his favor if Adams actually catches an Aaron Rodgers touchdown pass this week.
Prediction
Dave: 29 points
Chris: 21 points
Tight Ends
Tight ends can be inconsistent as shit but Chris and Dave actually have two pretty solid tight ends who get a lot of looks in the redzone. Eifert and Brate aren’t going to go crazy but both could get a short touchdown catch.
Prediction
Dave 6 points
Chris 7 points
Flex
Dave is probably locked in with DT and Chris will probably counter with Ingram and these guys could both be in their respected WR and RB slots come kickoff so a prediction is kind of stupid but I’m going to do it anyways.
Prediction
Dave: 10 points
Chris: 18 points
Defense and Kickers
I’m not going to pretend like I know what the Titans and Texans D will do as they are both not tremendous all around units and D/ST points are pretty hard to predict for any team besides the Broncos. Same with kickers, I have no idea but they are both playing in favorable conditions so a random blizzard or wind gusts shouldn’t hamper their potential. Haters gonna hate, and Prater’s gonna Prate on Monday night while Vinatieri might be the only remaining player that was on an original D12 roster in 2000 and he’s just as good as he’s always been.
Prediction
Dave: 15 points
Chris: 14 points
Fantasy Bowl XVII Prediction
This should be a pretty good game with both teams having the stars to put up a lot of points. There will be NFL football on the TV four out of five days over the holiday weekend so expect Dave and Chris to try to wrap and unwrap gifts with their families while also trying not to have a Clark Griswold meltdown when things don’t go their way on the fantasy field. I think it will come down to Monday night as these two are hungover from Christmas day and reach for the hard liquor one final time to calm the nerves as Dez Bryant gets enough catches for a respectable night and Prater connects on a couple of 40 yarders to hand Dave Cress his first ever Granger Cup victory as the winner of Fantasy Bowl XVII and Powell Bowl I.
Prediction
Prediction
Dave’s RB’s: 18 points
Chris’s RB’s: 20 points
Wide Receivers
I’m saying that it could come down to each position battle to decide this game but it literally could come down to the WR matchup for Dave as Dez Bryant will be playing in the final game of week 16 and Dave might need him to have a vintage Dez Bryant night to capture the cup. Chris has the better WR1 but Dave has the overall WR advantage as Dez, Cooks, and DT all represent potential upside over Antonio Bryant and Devante Adams this week. Chris can swing this in his favor if Adams actually catches an Aaron Rodgers touchdown pass this week.
Prediction
Dave: 29 points
Chris: 21 points
Tight Ends
Tight ends can be inconsistent as shit but Chris and Dave actually have two pretty solid tight ends who get a lot of looks in the redzone. Eifert and Brate aren’t going to go crazy but both could get a short touchdown catch.
Prediction
Dave 6 points
Chris 7 points
Flex
Dave is probably locked in with DT and Chris will probably counter with Ingram and these guys could both be in their respected WR and RB slots come kickoff so a prediction is kind of stupid but I’m going to do it anyways.
Prediction
Dave: 10 points
Chris: 18 points
Defense and Kickers
I’m not going to pretend like I know what the Titans and Texans D will do as they are both not tremendous all around units and D/ST points are pretty hard to predict for any team besides the Broncos. Same with kickers, I have no idea but they are both playing in favorable conditions so a random blizzard or wind gusts shouldn’t hamper their potential. Haters gonna hate, and Prater’s gonna Prate on Monday night while Vinatieri might be the only remaining player that was on an original D12 roster in 2000 and he’s just as good as he’s always been.
Prediction
Dave: 15 points
Chris: 14 points
Fantasy Bowl XVII Prediction
This should be a pretty good game with both teams having the stars to put up a lot of points. There will be NFL football on the TV four out of five days over the holiday weekend so expect Dave and Chris to try to wrap and unwrap gifts with their families while also trying not to have a Clark Griswold meltdown when things don’t go their way on the fantasy field. I think it will come down to Monday night as these two are hungover from Christmas day and reach for the hard liquor one final time to calm the nerves as Dez Bryant gets enough catches for a respectable night and Prater connects on a couple of 40 yarders to hand Dave Cress his first ever Granger Cup victory as the winner of Fantasy Bowl XVII and Powell Bowl I.
Prediction
Good luck to both gentlemen and we’ll recap everything next week and I’ll let everyone know what they won and what they owe as soon as I update the numbers next week.