Fantasy Bowl XV will feature two owners who are very familiar with winning a Granger Cup but have never experienced the heartbreak of losing one. Either Castillo or diZerega will experience that painful sting this year and we'll break down both teams to see who has a better chance of carving their name in the Granger Cup one more time.
#4 I'm Your Huckleberry
The Road to Fantasy Bowl XV: Castillo's fielded one of our best teams all year in terms of points scored and talent accumulated. It doesn't always gel together but when it does, it's a thing of beauty. Castillo can thank Andrew Luck, Jamaal Charles, and Le'Veon Bell for being pillars of success for almost the entire season and he can thank a couple of godawful quarterback performances from his opponents in the playoffs.
Granger Cup record: 2-0. Won in 2002 and 2011
Regular season points rank: 2nd
Playoff route
Defeated Fanning 119 - 78.3 in round 1
Defeated Ch. Marvel 91.1 - 73.8 in round 2
Castillo hoists the cup for the third time if...
Castillo tastes the agony of defeat if...
#7 Dirk Diggler
The Road to Fantasy Bowl XV: J.P. started hot and ended warm in the regular season but was pretty lousy in between. Matt Ryan is playing his best ball of the season at the exact right time, like he usually does for J.P. Mr. diZerega has scored a fair amount of points in the playoffs but was a fingernail away from a poor coaching loss in round 2.
Granger Cup record: 3-0-1. Tied in 2003. Won in 2004, 2009, and 2011.
Regular season points rank: 8th
Playoff route
Defeated the Pep's 149.7 - 111.5 in round 1
Defeated Jerome 99.7 - 99.1 in round 2
J.P. gets another plaque on the trophy if...
J.P. tastes the agony of defeat if...
Commish's Prediction: Castillo has been really fortunate in both his round 1 and round 2 matchups so far and he's probably fortunate to be playing J.P. compared to Jerome based only on their rosters right now (I'm still bitter). Castillo lucked out that Fanning and crappy Drew Brees found their way as a 5 seed and Castillo was lucky Ch. Marvel pulled off the upset of the century in round 1 so he and crappy Matt Sanchez could be defeated in round 2. I don't think Matt Ryan will lay an egg this week, just like I don't think J.P.'s butthole will pucker up like Castillo's other playoff opponents have. Castillo has the talent advantage much like he's had all season long but lately some of his top talent have not lived up to lofty expectations, which could be his undoing. Castillo's got that high floor working for him, which means he can withstand a couple of down games better than most everyone else.
Once again, it's impossible for me to make a confident prediction for J.P.'s team without knowing if Julio and/or DeMarco will play. If either of them are inactive, you can probably stick a fork in J.P. Then again, I didn't think J.P. would win last week without Julio, especially when J.P. the jamoke kept him in the lineup. Whether it be a holiday party hangover or a technology fail this Sunday, he's going to have to attempt to check his roster before 11:00 this weekend and actually hit the submit button if a roster change is necessary. To his credit, J.P. has outscored his somewhat high scoring opponents so far and his team is going to need to rise to the occasion one more time to complete an unlikely Granger Cup run. He's got some really favorable matchups and it's just a matter of his players being healthy and taking advantage of these matchups on Sunday.
Based on what we've seen so far in our playoffs I know I should just assume that a bunch of players will play like shit this weekend and we'll have a low scoring, highly disappointing game. But I'm too stubborn for this and I think the better team will play well and prosper this time. When it's all over, I think J.P. keeps it close initially but Castillo just has more firepower and pulls away on Sunday afternoon to welcome back the Granger Cup into his house.
Final Score
Dirk Diggler 98.2
I'm Your Huckleberry 119.7
And fucking finaly, a quick Fantasy Bowl XV Prop Sheet:
Fantasy Bowl MVP
Luck 3:1
Bell 4:1
Ryan 6:1
Charles: 8:1
Murray 8:1
Jones 10:1
O/U level of happiness other owners will feel if diZerega wins another cup: -0.2 grins
O/U level of happiness other owners will feel if Castillo wins another cup: 0.6 grins
O/U deals J.P. made with the fantasy football devil if he wins another: 3.5
O/U minutes Castillo watches of the Chiefs-Steelers game: 182.5
O/U ounces of Matt Ryan inspired semen expelled from J.P.'s cock if they win another G-Cup together: 3.5
More F bombs dropped: Castillo or J.P.
O/U annoying drunken texts Castillo will send to you if he's got it in the bag by Sunday night: 1.5
O/U combined years Petty, Dave, and the Pep's would take off their life to switch fantasy football lives with J.P.: 17.5
More fantasy points scored this week: Steve DeBerg or Jay Cutler
O/U days it will take all the D12 owners to pay up: 75.5
O/U beers it will take Castillo to get drunk at the bar with his adrenaline running high: 6.5
O/U fucks given by eliminated owners towards this game due to fantasy bitterness and exhaustion: 0.5
Size of D12 championship t-shirt ordered by the commish: XL or XXL
The winnings of the Granger Cup will mostly be spent on:
Outstanding bills: 5:1
Super Bowl gambling: 7:1
Golf: 8:1
Booze and food: 9:1
Vacation: 11:1
Lady and/or kids: 12:1
Rounds of drinks for all of D12: 100:1
We'll plan on a Fantasy Bowl XV recap next week when we'll wave goodbye to another season and say hello to a lot more free time. Good luck to Castillo and J.P. this week and any other owner in here that's in a title game. Also, good luck to any FanDual players looking for a fantasy fix this Sunday.
#4 I'm Your Huckleberry
The Road to Fantasy Bowl XV: Castillo's fielded one of our best teams all year in terms of points scored and talent accumulated. It doesn't always gel together but when it does, it's a thing of beauty. Castillo can thank Andrew Luck, Jamaal Charles, and Le'Veon Bell for being pillars of success for almost the entire season and he can thank a couple of godawful quarterback performances from his opponents in the playoffs.
Granger Cup record: 2-0. Won in 2002 and 2011
Regular season points rank: 2nd
Playoff route
Defeated Fanning 119 - 78.3 in round 1
Defeated Ch. Marvel 91.1 - 73.8 in round 2
Castillo hoists the cup for the third time if...
- He continues his lucky streak of playing an opponent that scores in the 70's
- Andrew Luck gets back on track with a 30+ point game
- Le'Veon Bell remains the hottest player in fantasy football and delivers another huge performance
- At least two of his receivers break a big play for a touchdown
- The Rams D force a lot of Eli Manning turnovers and a lot of Eli Manning sad faces
- This highly talented team puts it together for a 125+ point combined effort
Castillo tastes the agony of defeat if...
- Castillo plays a team that actually scores more than 80 points and the Huckleberries fail to respond
- Luck turns it over too many times while Dallas controls the clock
- Jamaal Charles either looks slow or gets re-injured against the Steelers
- Randall Cobb and the receivers don't find the endzone
- Larry Donnell is a non factor
- Sammy Watkins or DeSean Jackson have another dud game
#7 Dirk Diggler
The Road to Fantasy Bowl XV: J.P. started hot and ended warm in the regular season but was pretty lousy in between. Matt Ryan is playing his best ball of the season at the exact right time, like he usually does for J.P. Mr. diZerega has scored a fair amount of points in the playoffs but was a fingernail away from a poor coaching loss in round 2.
Granger Cup record: 3-0-1. Tied in 2003. Won in 2004, 2009, and 2011.
Regular season points rank: 8th
Playoff route
Defeated the Pep's 149.7 - 111.5 in round 1
Defeated Jerome 99.7 - 99.1 in round 2
J.P. gets another plaque on the trophy if...
- Matt Ryan stays hot with the help of a healthy Julio and the terrible Saints secondary
- DeMarco Murray feels little effect from surgery, plays, and plays well against an accommodating Colts front seven
- Tre Mason breaks off a couple big runs against a super soft Giants D
- Julio Jones plays, looks healthy, and torches another D for 20+ points
- Colston, Hurns, and Gates play over their heads again.
- The Broncos make Andy Dalton look like a dumbfuck on MNF
J.P. tastes the agony of defeat if...
- He doesn't submit a full lineup once again
- Either DeMarco or Julio are inactive or obviously not right, which reduces their touches and points
- Matt Ryan goes back to being pressured early and often, which causes his internal clock to speed up
- Colston and Gates look slow and old on Sunday
- J.P. gets boat raced out of the building if all of Castillo's starts shine bright
- The D12 fantasy gods take a Fantasy Bowl vacation away from J.P.
Commish's Prediction: Castillo has been really fortunate in both his round 1 and round 2 matchups so far and he's probably fortunate to be playing J.P. compared to Jerome based only on their rosters right now (I'm still bitter). Castillo lucked out that Fanning and crappy Drew Brees found their way as a 5 seed and Castillo was lucky Ch. Marvel pulled off the upset of the century in round 1 so he and crappy Matt Sanchez could be defeated in round 2. I don't think Matt Ryan will lay an egg this week, just like I don't think J.P.'s butthole will pucker up like Castillo's other playoff opponents have. Castillo has the talent advantage much like he's had all season long but lately some of his top talent have not lived up to lofty expectations, which could be his undoing. Castillo's got that high floor working for him, which means he can withstand a couple of down games better than most everyone else.
Once again, it's impossible for me to make a confident prediction for J.P.'s team without knowing if Julio and/or DeMarco will play. If either of them are inactive, you can probably stick a fork in J.P. Then again, I didn't think J.P. would win last week without Julio, especially when J.P. the jamoke kept him in the lineup. Whether it be a holiday party hangover or a technology fail this Sunday, he's going to have to attempt to check his roster before 11:00 this weekend and actually hit the submit button if a roster change is necessary. To his credit, J.P. has outscored his somewhat high scoring opponents so far and his team is going to need to rise to the occasion one more time to complete an unlikely Granger Cup run. He's got some really favorable matchups and it's just a matter of his players being healthy and taking advantage of these matchups on Sunday.
Based on what we've seen so far in our playoffs I know I should just assume that a bunch of players will play like shit this weekend and we'll have a low scoring, highly disappointing game. But I'm too stubborn for this and I think the better team will play well and prosper this time. When it's all over, I think J.P. keeps it close initially but Castillo just has more firepower and pulls away on Sunday afternoon to welcome back the Granger Cup into his house.
Final Score
Dirk Diggler 98.2
I'm Your Huckleberry 119.7
And fucking finaly, a quick Fantasy Bowl XV Prop Sheet:
Fantasy Bowl MVP
Luck 3:1
Bell 4:1
Ryan 6:1
Charles: 8:1
Murray 8:1
Jones 10:1
O/U level of happiness other owners will feel if diZerega wins another cup: -0.2 grins
O/U level of happiness other owners will feel if Castillo wins another cup: 0.6 grins
O/U deals J.P. made with the fantasy football devil if he wins another: 3.5
O/U minutes Castillo watches of the Chiefs-Steelers game: 182.5
O/U ounces of Matt Ryan inspired semen expelled from J.P.'s cock if they win another G-Cup together: 3.5
More F bombs dropped: Castillo or J.P.
O/U annoying drunken texts Castillo will send to you if he's got it in the bag by Sunday night: 1.5
O/U combined years Petty, Dave, and the Pep's would take off their life to switch fantasy football lives with J.P.: 17.5
More fantasy points scored this week: Steve DeBerg or Jay Cutler
O/U days it will take all the D12 owners to pay up: 75.5
O/U beers it will take Castillo to get drunk at the bar with his adrenaline running high: 6.5
O/U fucks given by eliminated owners towards this game due to fantasy bitterness and exhaustion: 0.5
Size of D12 championship t-shirt ordered by the commish: XL or XXL
The winnings of the Granger Cup will mostly be spent on:
Outstanding bills: 5:1
Super Bowl gambling: 7:1
Golf: 8:1
Booze and food: 9:1
Vacation: 11:1
Lady and/or kids: 12:1
Rounds of drinks for all of D12: 100:1
We'll plan on a Fantasy Bowl XV recap next week when we'll wave goodbye to another season and say hello to a lot more free time. Good luck to Castillo and J.P. this week and any other owner in here that's in a title game. Also, good luck to any FanDual players looking for a fantasy fix this Sunday.