Super Bowl XXIV was a matchup that included two incredibly proficient quarterbacks with plenty of offensive pieces that as a unit, took them to the final and most important game of the year. The Joe Montana-led 49ers were slightly favored over Elway’s Denver Broncos but it was apparent by the first five minutes that this was going to be a relentless and lopsided onslaught of points until the final whistle. Both of these current Hall of Famers enjoyed great success on the real and digital football field...
and the Dirty Dozen championship game felt like a video game thanks to the most points scored (147.9) and largest margin of victory (77.1) by Chris Marvel. Fantasy Bowl XVII aka Powell Bowl I also featured two future Hall of Fame QB’s and like the 1990 Super Bowl, it was obvious this was going to be a blowout shortly after the coin toss.
Chris Marvel hitched his fantasy wagon to Aaron Rodgers two years ago when he picked him as our first overall pick in the draft (actually the 13th pick if you count keepers), hoping that Rodgers could become the top fantasy QB like he had been in years past. Rodgers and Marvel’s path to the 2016 championship hasn’t been as smooth or predictable as Chris thought he was getting into when he made the commitment to Rodgers as his first pick but Chris would probably say it was all worth it now that he won the Granger Cup and can thank Rodgers as a huge reason for this victory. Rodgers hasn’t set the world ablaze as we’ve seen before but he has easily been the best fantasy and real life quarterback since week 8 and it’s no coincidence that Chris’s nine game winning streak started at the precise moment when A-Aron began to humiliate opposing defenses. Rodgers was magnificent again in the Wisconsin cold with 45.1 fantasy points (a Fantasy Bowl record), which put a bow on his MOP 2016 season with a smaller Fantasy Bowl MVP trophy now prominent in Chris’s trophy case. You make a real commitment to another human being on your wedding day and when you use him as your fantasy football team name and it’s heartwarming to see that Chris’s love for Aaron has reached its peak since the day he looked him in the eye and said “I do” want to name my fantasy team after you.
Dave Cress has crawled through 10 miles of donkey shit to get to his first Fantasy Bowl and even though he has to be somewhat pleased that he will actually go home with a little cash this year, he can’t be anything but embarrassed about how his first title game appearance went. The NFL season is a grind for all involved and we usually see some not-so-good players get thrown in the fantasy spotlight due to injuries and favorable matchups and Dave found himself in the position to rely on two untested RB’s in the most important game thanks to injuries and lack of alternative options. Kenneth Dixon and Kenneth Farrow both had great matchups but both proved that they are not ready for primetime with 11.5 combined points, looking as weak and vulnerable as Kenneth Parcell from 30 Rock.
Chris Marvel hitched his fantasy wagon to Aaron Rodgers two years ago when he picked him as our first overall pick in the draft (actually the 13th pick if you count keepers), hoping that Rodgers could become the top fantasy QB like he had been in years past. Rodgers and Marvel’s path to the 2016 championship hasn’t been as smooth or predictable as Chris thought he was getting into when he made the commitment to Rodgers as his first pick but Chris would probably say it was all worth it now that he won the Granger Cup and can thank Rodgers as a huge reason for this victory. Rodgers hasn’t set the world ablaze as we’ve seen before but he has easily been the best fantasy and real life quarterback since week 8 and it’s no coincidence that Chris’s nine game winning streak started at the precise moment when A-Aron began to humiliate opposing defenses. Rodgers was magnificent again in the Wisconsin cold with 45.1 fantasy points (a Fantasy Bowl record), which put a bow on his MOP 2016 season with a smaller Fantasy Bowl MVP trophy now prominent in Chris’s trophy case. You make a real commitment to another human being on your wedding day and when you use him as your fantasy football team name and it’s heartwarming to see that Chris’s love for Aaron has reached its peak since the day he looked him in the eye and said “I do” want to name my fantasy team after you.
Dave Cress has crawled through 10 miles of donkey shit to get to his first Fantasy Bowl and even though he has to be somewhat pleased that he will actually go home with a little cash this year, he can’t be anything but embarrassed about how his first title game appearance went. The NFL season is a grind for all involved and we usually see some not-so-good players get thrown in the fantasy spotlight due to injuries and favorable matchups and Dave found himself in the position to rely on two untested RB’s in the most important game thanks to injuries and lack of alternative options. Kenneth Dixon and Kenneth Farrow both had great matchups but both proved that they are not ready for primetime with 11.5 combined points, looking as weak and vulnerable as Kenneth Parcell from 30 Rock.
On top of that, Dave got two combined points from his Flex, D/ST, and kicker spots, which is a formula for a bonerific week for any fantasy team. This Fantasy Bowl appearance will help wash away some of the grime that has been attached to D12’s most tortured franchise but once again Dave’s team played like fecal matter and did it in the game that mattered most.
As an avid football gambler of all sorts of games, Chris knows the toil that usually occurs every time he puts money on a game so it had to be an unfamiliar and incredible feeling to watch his team coast to a victory with minimal stress. Everyone on his team had a pretty great day with six out of nine players scoring in double digits and the three that didn’t were the TE, D/ST, and kicker, who are usually not double digit suppliers. Heck, even Mark Ingram was given every opportunity to succeed and he literally took the ball and ran with it providing 23.3 fantasy points and ending a frustrating rollercoaster of a fantasy season on a high note for Marvel. Congrats to Dave for finally playing a full 16 weeks of fantasy football in this league and big ups to Chris for getting his first D12 championship victory since he sipped from the original and smaller version of the Granger Cup back in 2001. For all the bitter shit that I talk about championships being attributed mostly to luck and not skill, it was a bit refreshing to see a regular season champ and a very good overall team win the big trophy at the end of the season. Even if his opponents scored 54.7, 59.1, and 70.8 throughout the playoffs. You lucky son of a bit....nope, not going to be bitter. Not at all.
Now for the annual State of the Dirty Dozen speech. It’s pretty crazy that we’ve been playing in this league for 17 years now and there is no question that this league has taken up far too much our time, effort, and money, which is a good thing in my opinion. I know it’s just a fantasy football league but it’s still pretty cool that we’ve had 12-14 owners in this league for as long as we have that also have a pretty long history with everyone else within this league. I appreciate the commitment and emotions that everyone has for this league and I also think it’s been a good and bad thing when the season is over. We take it so seriously that we want to win and have fun playing but as soon as things go off the rails for a little bit, the intensity takes over and sometimes it gets uglier than needed or people get a little defensive towards it all. The Office was a great show for a long time but the final two seasons were not good because the shelf life for TV shows has an expiration date and it feels like maybe we’re getting to that point in this league where we’ve used up all the good jokes and funny exchanges and its maybe time to ride off into the sunset. I have heard from four owners of this league that would like this year to be their last, which is totally their decision but it also creates a problem in regards to the future of the league. I’m fine with keeping this train chugging along but we’ll need to find four new owners, which could be a problem but a problem that I think can be solved if enough people want to solve it. I’m at peace if this is indeed the last year of D12 football as I know all of our priorities have changed and there’s no need to commit $150 and countless hours to a league if it’s not worth it at this point. We have a few months to iron this all out and maybe people will feel differently when the 2017 NFL season rolls around but I’ll have to reach out to everyone again in a couple of months to see how they feel about the Dirty Dozen and then evaluate our options on where we want to go.
If this is the final time I type out some stupid drivel about this league, let me say that I have had a pretty awesome time with everyone and appreciate your dedication to this league. At this point, fantasy football should really just be a conduit to talk with your friends since we all have trouble hanging out anymore so I’m glad I’ve been able to hang out with you guys via this stupid website for this stupid league for so long. It is definitely lame to commit this much towards a fake football league but then again, I can’t think of many other rituals that we have anymore so if we are going to have a ritual, we might as well go overboard with it. With that in mind, this next sentence might be the most pathetic in the history of the internet, so be prepared. It has made me smile every time I get a text or comment from you guys about this league and a simple “thank you” from anyone at the end of the fantasy year went a long way in terms of keeping this league going and spending time trying to keep everyone engaged with a weekly recap or whatever fun stuff we did that separated this league from the vanilla ones out there. As Al Pacino said in Any Given Sunday, “You know when you get old in life, things get taken from you. That's, that's part of life.” Which is appropriate for this league as it might be one more college tradition that gets taken away. It does defintely suck that we’ve gotten to a point where the D12 OG’s are splintering off but maybe change will be good, whether it’s four new owners or shutting this league down. We’ll see where we’re at come September of 2017 but if this is the end, I want us all to raise a Corona like Dom Toretto in Fast and Furious and let you know that I’ve had a memorable time with you all and hope we can cheers together for this league or any other reason very soon. Salud mi Familia.
As an avid football gambler of all sorts of games, Chris knows the toil that usually occurs every time he puts money on a game so it had to be an unfamiliar and incredible feeling to watch his team coast to a victory with minimal stress. Everyone on his team had a pretty great day with six out of nine players scoring in double digits and the three that didn’t were the TE, D/ST, and kicker, who are usually not double digit suppliers. Heck, even Mark Ingram was given every opportunity to succeed and he literally took the ball and ran with it providing 23.3 fantasy points and ending a frustrating rollercoaster of a fantasy season on a high note for Marvel. Congrats to Dave for finally playing a full 16 weeks of fantasy football in this league and big ups to Chris for getting his first D12 championship victory since he sipped from the original and smaller version of the Granger Cup back in 2001. For all the bitter shit that I talk about championships being attributed mostly to luck and not skill, it was a bit refreshing to see a regular season champ and a very good overall team win the big trophy at the end of the season. Even if his opponents scored 54.7, 59.1, and 70.8 throughout the playoffs. You lucky son of a bit....nope, not going to be bitter. Not at all.
Now for the annual State of the Dirty Dozen speech. It’s pretty crazy that we’ve been playing in this league for 17 years now and there is no question that this league has taken up far too much our time, effort, and money, which is a good thing in my opinion. I know it’s just a fantasy football league but it’s still pretty cool that we’ve had 12-14 owners in this league for as long as we have that also have a pretty long history with everyone else within this league. I appreciate the commitment and emotions that everyone has for this league and I also think it’s been a good and bad thing when the season is over. We take it so seriously that we want to win and have fun playing but as soon as things go off the rails for a little bit, the intensity takes over and sometimes it gets uglier than needed or people get a little defensive towards it all. The Office was a great show for a long time but the final two seasons were not good because the shelf life for TV shows has an expiration date and it feels like maybe we’re getting to that point in this league where we’ve used up all the good jokes and funny exchanges and its maybe time to ride off into the sunset. I have heard from four owners of this league that would like this year to be their last, which is totally their decision but it also creates a problem in regards to the future of the league. I’m fine with keeping this train chugging along but we’ll need to find four new owners, which could be a problem but a problem that I think can be solved if enough people want to solve it. I’m at peace if this is indeed the last year of D12 football as I know all of our priorities have changed and there’s no need to commit $150 and countless hours to a league if it’s not worth it at this point. We have a few months to iron this all out and maybe people will feel differently when the 2017 NFL season rolls around but I’ll have to reach out to everyone again in a couple of months to see how they feel about the Dirty Dozen and then evaluate our options on where we want to go.
If this is the final time I type out some stupid drivel about this league, let me say that I have had a pretty awesome time with everyone and appreciate your dedication to this league. At this point, fantasy football should really just be a conduit to talk with your friends since we all have trouble hanging out anymore so I’m glad I’ve been able to hang out with you guys via this stupid website for this stupid league for so long. It is definitely lame to commit this much towards a fake football league but then again, I can’t think of many other rituals that we have anymore so if we are going to have a ritual, we might as well go overboard with it. With that in mind, this next sentence might be the most pathetic in the history of the internet, so be prepared. It has made me smile every time I get a text or comment from you guys about this league and a simple “thank you” from anyone at the end of the fantasy year went a long way in terms of keeping this league going and spending time trying to keep everyone engaged with a weekly recap or whatever fun stuff we did that separated this league from the vanilla ones out there. As Al Pacino said in Any Given Sunday, “You know when you get old in life, things get taken from you. That's, that's part of life.” Which is appropriate for this league as it might be one more college tradition that gets taken away. It does defintely suck that we’ve gotten to a point where the D12 OG’s are splintering off but maybe change will be good, whether it’s four new owners or shutting this league down. We’ll see where we’re at come September of 2017 but if this is the end, I want us all to raise a Corona like Dom Toretto in Fast and Furious and let you know that I’ve had a memorable time with you all and hope we can cheers together for this league or any other reason very soon. Salud mi Familia.
And finally, our last piece of business to take care of. Below is the final 2016 D12 payout summary. If you owe money, it would be preferable if you could just mail me a check because I have no idea when I will see you guys next. Hopefully that's soon but sending me a check or doing a transfer through Wells Fargo will ensure that I'm not asking you for payment for months on end. For the lucky winners, I'll try to collect as much as I can as fast as I can but this has always been a long process and not many people paid already so I'm asking you to be patient for now and I'll hopefully be able to collect most of this by the Super Bowl. Thanks again for paying and playing, I know this isn't couch change for everyone, especially now when we've just broken the bank of gifts for our families and have probably had to restock the liquor cabinet from all the holiday spirits that have been flowing through our veins.