As most of you know by now, my wife had a baby boy on November 21st which obviously will change my normal schedule and one of the first sacrifices to my normal life schedule is the slimming down of the weekly recaps I submit to you, my D12 brothers. I don't have a lot of time to waste on this website currently and I haven't mastered the skill of using one hand to hold an infant while I type with the other hand, which means you're getting a shorter weekly recap this week. I just want to scan the week 12 scoreboard and offer some observations, which should be quick and easy but I also don't want to totally diss my bros because I'm baby whipped now, too. I'll give a very brief week 12 recap while also trying to offer up a viewing guide on what we should look for in week 13 as we conclude the regular season. Here we go.
Alrighty, sorry for no gifs, pics, or youtube videos but we need to keep this tight. I'll try my best to offer up a week 13 viewing guide on what everyone should be looking for as we wrap up our regular season.
- Dan and Corey's last win occurred during week one against Jerome. Since then, they've lost 10 straight games, been ridiculed mercilessly, and have suffered a traumatic 2014 season that will take a brillo pad to scrub away the memory of. Week 12 offered a chance to snap this losing streak, which they did against the commish. Too bad they can't play the commish every week.
- It doesn't mean shit but Dan and Corey's team actually looks pretty strong now. Tannehill is pretty decent, Forsett is the real deal, Megatron, Green, and Gordon are all healthy and active. If this league restarted again, this could actually be a pretty good fantasy team.
- Fucking Dan and Corey have averaged about 75 points a game against everyone besides the commish and have averaged 130 points in their two wins against the commish. If you read my Hypothetical Schedule post, you'll know that sometimes the California Cookie crumbles the wrong way for you, which has certainly been the case for C&D and has also bit Jerome in the behind more than he would like, too. I did somehow move up to 4th in the standings soooooo….I guess I should shut the fuck up now.
- The Pep's had to get rid of a pretty good receiver in Hilton but it looks like they solved their major RB problem in getting C.J. Anderson in return. Anderson was great on Sunday and is someone the Pep's can ride come playoff time. As for the rest of the Peppel's coaching moves, well, they might want to make a trade for an assistant coach to make their start/sit decisions.
- J.P. got a lucky win to avoid any playoff bubble talk this week but I don't see any reason to take this team seriously when the postseason begins. I know I'm poking the bear when I dismiss J.P. in the playoffs but this bear is just gently batting the bunny around like Mikey did in Swingers.
- I might've made Meyer come off as a lucky, no good, jabroni on my Hypothetical Schedule post but this is a pretty good fantasy team and can make it very interesting in December if the receivers continue to play great and if Meyer can get a QB to score more than 16 points for him.
- A very up-and-down season for Jordan is now down for the count. Brady deserves some blame for burying this team early just like he should get credit for bringing them back to life in October. Got to hand it to D.T. for being an MVP for this team.
- Castillo just can't make a real push towards the top no matter what this season. As soon as I label this team as one of the best, they lose to Petty. I think we just saw Luck's worst game by a mile, though. More good news is that Charles and Bell are healthy and should be difference makers. If this team does lose in the playoffs, it'll probably be due to a bunch of receivers that are too streaky.
- The receivers are certainly a huge reason as to why Kevin will not be participating in our postseason tournament. Like Corey and Dan's team, this is a fantasy team that is also playing better as of late and will also look back to September and early October with much regret.
- Zach's team is going to be undefeated going into the playoffs, which you probably knew already. Just when one spot on this team looks vulnerable, another player steps up. We know Zach has the most impressive streak in our league's history and if this continues, he's going to have another streak of eventually displaying the Granger Cup for over 700 consecutive days in his bedroom.
- Fanning might've been more concerned with Jordan's outcome than his own this week as Fanning probably pencilled in a loss when he saw Suer's name on the schedule but also knew a loss from Jordan would clinch a playoff spot. Fanning can breathe easy knowing he'll be in the playoffs but he might potentially hyperventilate with the thought of playing Zach again in round 1.
- Dave's team remained terrible this week and with Corey and Dan getting a win, Dave is now on the verge of finishing dead fucking last this year.
- Watching McCoy and Crowell had to be a sight for sore eyes for Chris, who has chewed on a mouthful of bitterness from his running backs all season long. Maybe this will be the spark this team needs or maybe none of it will matter when his QB ultimately disappoints in the playoffs.
Alrighty, sorry for no gifs, pics, or youtube videos but we need to keep this tight. I'll try my best to offer up a week 13 viewing guide on what everyone should be looking for as we wrap up our regular season.
- The playoff teams are now all set but the juggling of the 2 and 3 seeds could happen in week 13 and could also make zero difference whatsoever in the grand scheme of things. The juggling of 4-8 seeds will be important, though as nobody in their right mind wants to play Zach right now so avoiding an 8 seed is crucial. For the lucky guys that avoid the 8 seed, I wonder if they might be happy to be the 6 or 7 seed in order to play the perceived lucky teams (Meyer, Pep's) rather than be the 4 or 5 seed and play a higher point scoring teams (Jerome and Castillo). Of course Jerome and Castillo could be a 6 or 7 seed with a loss and of course I'm over thinking all of this.
- Let's move to the regular season awards now, shall we? We shall.
- The regular season title and points title are already wrapped up by Suer who can now play with house money in the playoffs.
- Zach is also the odds on favorite to take home more money for the MOP award, which gets 3% of the pot. Peyton Manning is up 8.3 points over Andrew Luck and 15.2 points above Aaron Rodgers.
- Suer is also in the lead for top team QB going into the final week. As you will soon read in the Position Point Totals email I send out, Suer is up 9.3 points over Jerome and 20 points ahead of Castillo. It should be fun to watch this play out as all three QB's are capable of huge games which could swing this and the MOP & John Elway award.
- The top team RB award is a two horse race between Fanning and Castillo. Fanning is currently up 4 and this one could very well hinge on if Arian Foster plays and if so, how many times he totes the rock.
- Since Zach hasn't won enough money already, he can bank of winning the team WR of the year award as he's up 51.6 points on Chris, who has the second most WR points and zero chance of catching Zach.
- Dan has won the Eliminator Challenge and will take home $100 for his forecasting skills.
- The rest of these awards will not make any owner any richer but they can still be looked at if you're into pride and writing your name in the D12 history books.
- The John Elway award will play out exactly as the MOP award does with Peyton trying to fend off Luck and Rodgers.
- The Terrell Davis award is DeMarco Murray's to lose as he's up 7.7 points over Matt Forte and 11.5 points over Marshawn Lynch.
- The Rod Smith award should go down to the wire with Demaryius Thomas holding a 1.2 point lead over Antonio Brown while Jordy Nelson needs some big plays and 14.4 more points than the contenders to take home this award.
- The Shannon Sharpe award will very likely go home with Gronk like many drunken groupies do. Gronk is 15.8 points ahead of Jimmy Graham.
- The D/ST award could go to the Buffalo Bills who are owned by Zach and are one point ahead of the Eagles D, who play for Chris. The Dolphins and Cards could make it interesting with huge games.
- The Jason Elam award is kind of lame and will probably go to Gostkowski unless the former Patriots kicker (Vinatieri) scores 7 more points than the current Patriots kicker.
- The sleeper of the year winner will likely go to Justin Forsett unless Emannuel Sanders goes bananas.
- The bust of the year winner is Adrian Peterson for multiple reasons. The Pep's have been lucky for the most part this season but this is one of the unluckiest turn of events we've seen for a high draft pick ever.
- Rookie of the year will likely go to Mike Evans unless Kelvin Benjamin or Jeremy Hill go berserk.
- Not sure how I can not give the coach of the year award to Zach under any circumstances.
We have some pretty great Thanksgiving games that will determine a lot of seeding and D12 awards and also likely have us touching our cell phones much more than Aunt Debbie's stuffing. Why do you always put cranberries in the stuffing, Aunt Debbie? Have a joyous Thanksgiving filled with plenty of triptophan, football, and a turkey sandwich/12 year scotch nightcap.