Miller’s All-Stars vs. A-Aron
Kevin Petty’s Notes:
- Petty needed a week like this is the worst way. Nice win without the services of Kevin’s keeper.
- It has to be unsettling to see Jeremy Hill get only 9 carries when they blew a team out but Hill will get the ball inside the 5, which means he can make the most of his carries, like he did this Sunday.
- On the rare occasion that Alex Smith lets loose and chucks a pass longer than 3 yards, it looks like Jeremy Maclin will be on the receiving end of it.
- The pickup of the Packers D and choice to start Danny Woodhead will stop the chants of “Fire Petty” from the Miller’s All-Stars south stands.
- Melvin Gordon is threatening to be a disappointing bust this year. It had to hurt extra bad to watch Danny Woodhead get into the endzone for the Chargers and Petty on Sunday, too.
- Devonta Freeman is looking like the Sleeper of the Year and is giving the Falcons and Ch. Marvel something they severely lacked coming into the season; a running game.
- Chris Marvel’s face when watching Big Ben throw to Antonio Brown
- Chris Marvel’s face when Mike Vick is throwing the ball to Brown
- Another example of why fantasy football is a real dickhead; Chris scores more points than everyone besides Kevin and still loses.
That’s My Forte vs. The Bushwhackers
- I really wanted to make fun of Meyer for spending $31 bucks on Andy Dalton last week but I decided to wait to see how he did when inserted into Meyer’s lineup. $31 is still too much to spend on Dalton, especially when Meyer’s going to use him once this season but I will admit that Dalton looks pretty swell so far this season and his 20 points was pretty clutch for Meyer this week. Granger still might want to consider putting a money manager on his payroll before the next bidding deadline comes and Meyer spends like a gold digging whore.
- The floor for Forte and Charles is about what we saw this week. Neither of them got in the endzone but they both combined to score 28 points this week and if that’s their floor, that’s a nicely sanded and polished floor for this team.
- Keenan Allen is back to being good at football
- Eric Decker looks like a decent WR2 option for this team now and a decent trade find for Meyer. Decker’s knee might be an ongoing issue, though.
- Congrats to Jeff for accumulating 1 total point on the season from his kickers so far
Peppel Brothers Notes:
- I don’t understand when fantasy football owners use a roster spot on a backup QB when they have a top 5 QB already on their roster so I was curious as to why the Pep’s drafted Carson Palmer this year. With Luck being a turnover machine and injured all year, it looks like this is exactly why the Pep’s decided to grab a competent backup QB. Palmer has been really good so far but if the Pep’s have to start him more than 2 times this season, shit has gone wrong.
- Have to imagine that the Pep’s were screaming “Get him!!!” while thinking “Go Adrian!!” in their heads on Peterson’s 4th down TD scamper.
- Everyone that spent big bucks on Matt Jones is frantically trying to find the receipt so they can return him for store credit right now.
- Allen Hurns was a really smart pickup. This almost makes up for drafting Andre Johnson in the 4th round.
Johnson and Johnson vs. Dick Tickling Cock Jockeys
Burke and Marvel’s bullets:
- Peyton Manning is the Jamie Moyer of football right now. He’s basically throwing junk out there and praying to god it ends up where he wants it to after he releases the ball. Got to give Peyton credit for gutting it out every week but it might be a good idea for Corey and Dan to find a QB that has feeling in his fingertips this year.
- The Berenstein Bears are more ferocious than the Chicago Bears front seven, which is why Latavius Murray’s 4.1 point day was more than disappointing.
- How in the world can the Falcons score 48 points and Julio Jones only gets 3.8 fantasy points? That don’t compute.
- I bet there was some interesting noises coming out of the mouths of Dan, Corey, and Dave on Megatron’s plunge towards the endzone at the end of Monday Night Football on ESPN.
- Lamar Miller; the champagne of horribly underperforming 2015 running backs.
- With both McCoy and Watkins inactive, Dave had a lot of potential start/sit decisions with a lot of mediocre players. Dave really Cressed it up with some bad decisions but luckily it didn’t send him to 0-4, thanks to a little love from the points against gods.
- The “Is Joe Flacco elite?” question will never stop being asked and I think we need to start asking if the 11 guys on the Ravens D can be considered an elite unit any longer.
- It was a brutal week for kickers and nobody was lapping up the kicker’s tears more than David A. Cress. If that pube in New Orleans doesn’t doink a 30 yarder at the end of the game, Brees doesn’t get the ball in OT, doesn’t throw a walkoff TD, and Dave doesn’t win. Dave has this pregnant man to thank for the shank.
- What a showcase of idiocy in this matchup. A kicker was started on a bye, an inactive TE was started, a WR that got zero targets was started, and it came down to the last second on MNF where the refs botched a pretty easy call that could've changed the outcome if this matchup.
- Jordan, you have three tight ends on your roster; two of which were inactive. If you’re looking for a tight end replacement this week, they’re all on Jordan’s bench.
- Todd Gurley exploded on the scene a little earlier than expected. Took him a bit to get going on Sunday but the former Bulldog is causing fantasy owners everywhere to precum a little.
- Everyone besides Jordan should be really glad they didn’t take Alshon Jeffrey this year.
- Big Ben will be missed but somehow Cam Newton is getting the job done and will be an adequate replacement.
- Here’s another example of a team that really needed a win and got one.
- Before you jump down Fanning’s throat about starting Gostkowski on a bye, let me defend him a bit. Fanning was waiting for the Packers to inevitably declare Devante Adams out for the game and when that didn’t happen by the Sunday waiver deadline, Fanning decided to eat a zero. I can see why Fanning wouldn’t necessarily want to drop any of his other options to pick up a kicker but he definitely could’ve dropped Gostkowski and tried to pick him up next week. Fanning isn’t a huge fan of the new waiver system and I will fully admit it has some holes in it that I didn’t foresee when we voted this in. I play in another league that plays with a FAAB and I’ve always just had to deal with the Sunday and Monday deadlines and hope they don’t bite me. I realize this isn’t the best way to go about it when teams won’t deactivate players until gametime so if you want to put a player in the IR slot but they play late Sunday or Monday, you can’t do that and pick up another player to fill the void on Sunday morning. I was thinking of tinkering with the waiver rule to allow all owners to pick up and drop players whenever they want on Thursday, Sunday, and Monday, providing that their game hasn’t’ started yet. I can't change the rules on the ESPN site but I was thinking of trying to help out with some commish-forced roster moves if possible, which I'm not a fan of but it might be our only solution if it seems fair to everyone. I will put this to a vote on the ESPN site and we’ll see what everyone thinks. We can either implement this amendment this week or agree to discuss it in the offseason and keep our current rules. So go vote on the site when you’re done with this and we’ll come up with a decision before Sunday, hopefully.
- All of that waiver wire complexities aside, Fanning really could’ve won this game if he picked up someone besides Jordan Norwood for his WR3 spot. Not sure if Fanning has some inside info on the Broncos but I can’t think of one reason why Jordan Norwood would be on the receiving end of a Peyton Manning pass in week 4.
- A week without Gronk is something Fanning never wants to experience again.
- Carlos Hyde has fallen off a cliff since week 1.
- Tough loss for this team and I was somewhat surprised that my house wasn’t egged when I woke up this morning based on the FAAB rules.
Denver Donkey Punches vs. I’m Your Huckleberry
- For the first time in 25 regular season weeks, the Donkey Punches did not go home a winner.
- Zach usually finds a way to win but if his first three draft picks (C.J. Anderson, Matthews, and Graham) don’t snap out of this early season funk, Zach is going to pile up more losses than he’s comfortable with.
- J/K, Zach will be fine no matter what. He’s still #1 in our standings and points.
- Eli Manning is probably the starting QB for this team now with Stafford looking more like Bernie Kosar every week.
- Man, it’s fun to watch the Broncos D in obvious passing situations. That “Unleash Hell” defense has taken over Peyton as the must see portion of Broncos games.
- Le’Veon looks worth the wait already
- Never thought we’d see Ted Ginn on a fantasy roster after 2009 but there he was as Castillo’s WR3. He might’ve gotten almost as many fantasy points as yards on Sunday but Castillo will take whatever cheap points he can get from that draft bust.
- Jordan Reed looks like Sonny Corleone at a toll booth after games. Dude is riddled with injuries from head to toe.
- Castillo can thank Mike Tomlin’s stupefying play calling for helping the Steelers lose possession of the ball and allowing Justin Tucker to get 9 extra fantasy points late on Thursday night.
Nerf vs. Dirk
I can’t tell if my quarterback works for the San Diego Chargers or Cabela’s.
- Here are some of the quotes about Brandin Cooks coming into the 2015 season:
- “He’s going to be a top 10 receiver, mark my words.” – Matthew Berry
- “Brandin Cooks is having a phenomenal camp and is clearly the top option for Drew Brees this year. He’s going to catch a ton of balls.” – Adam Schefter
- “Brandin Cooks is going to demolish every record I’ve ever had” – Jerry Rice
- “Brandin Cooks will be my 2016 running mate” – Donald Trump
- “I am excited that I have Brandin Cooks on all of my fantasy teams! This is the season I actually enjoy fantasy football!” – Jerome DeFelice; September 1, 2015
- “I hope Magic Johnson rapes Brandin Cooks tonight and gives him AIDS” – Jerome DeFelice; October 5, 2015
- I was actually relieved that Doug Baldwin caught an early touchdown on MNF so I could not stress every throw the entire night and then watch J.P. take the lead with about a minute left in the game.
- Not only did I lose my faith in the Turbos, I also lost a great drinking buddy this week when CC decided to call it a season. Seriously, what the hell is going on here?
- J.P. crushes souls in our league and has an affinity for crushing the commish’s soul every time they meet. I kept thinking about my 0.6 point loss in last year's playoffs. J.P. is all up in my kitchen, which isn't dissimilar to when he would come over and immediately ask what was in my kitchen so he could eat 98% of it.
- J.P. should’ve won by a lot more if the Falcons got more than 6 of their 48 points from the arm of Matt Ryan
- DeMarco Murray and the Eagles are a prime example of why being the preseason champion counts for nothing
- It was nice to see Justin Forsett stiff arm the “2015 Bust of the Year” trophy this week
- Not too many people like watching Jay Culter on the field but Martellus Bennett and Martellus Bennett owners will tolerate him if it means more games like this one.
Well, everyone in this league has at least one win and one loss by week 4 and based on how this week unfolded, I’m guessing everyone has at least one broken television remote and one shattered screen on their cell phone. At least the Broncos are finding a way to get it done every week and not piling onto our usual Sunday night football depression when we see what went wrong with our fantasy teams and betting decisions every week.