The major league all-star game, a.k.a. the Kansas City Royals vs. National League game, hasn't been played yet which means there's still a little time for you to move up or down in our fantasy standings. Now that baseball is the only big sport on TV, you might think now is the time to really hunker down and help your team move up the standings but there is not as much time as you think in order to make this happen.
We've played more than 65% of our regular season to this date which means we've played enough baseball to know who the good teams and bad teams in our league are at this point. Our standings have remained pretty stagnant since opening day with everyone staying in their respective slots for the most part, which means if you're buried down in the standings, the climb upward is a steep and steady one. We've also played enough baseball to have a pretty good idea of what can be expected from the players on our roster. We're past the point of hoping that our high draft picks will turn it on any day now just as we know that our 2015 sleeper is likely going to be a gem if he's maintaining his production to date. These sleepers and busts appear on every roster from every round in the draft or section of the free agent pool, which has made us excited to check our scores in the evening or excited for the football season to begin.
We're at a point where we can look back and confidently evaluate the talent we've accumulated on our roster, which has more or less put us in our current spot in the Shocker standings. But with this certainty, we also know that the dog days of summer will grind some players down to a nub, some players will get injured, and some will have a second half surge so even if you're pleased or pissed with your team right now there is some time for fortunes to change, albeit not all that much. Let's take a look at where we all stand as we knock on July's door and let's highlight one really good and one really bad decision that was made and has contributed to our standing within our Shocker circle.
The Hot Corner
Everything is falling into line for the preseason favorite. Arch's late round sleepers are budding at the right time, his opponents are submitting every week, and he's making really smart moves from the G.M. office. Manny Machado's glove work has never been a question but his health and bat have been a letdown for fantasy owners in the past so when Arch took Macho Man in the 9th round, it was far from a secure selection. Machado has been on a tear lately, driving him to our #2 ranked third baseman and is solidifying the hot corner for The Hot Corner. Arch is dominating with the bats but does have room to improve with his pitchers, which is why I loved his trade to obtain Max Scherzer. In the 18 innings Max has pitched on Arch's team, he's given up one goddamn hit, struck out 26 batters, and was one HBP away from a perfect game. This team is stacked thanks to a great job by Arch and we haven't even talked about Arch's and our league's best player so far in 2015, Paul Goldschmidt.
Thank God I Drafted
Manny Machado with the 100th overall pick instead of Alexei Ramirez who went 104th overall
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Carlos Santana 69th overall instead of Michael Wacha, who went 71st
Arvada Astros
Lance is one of the few owners that can challenge Arch to a fight and his 8-4-0 win over The Hot Corner last week proves that Laser is a legit title contender. His pitchers are incredibly inconsistent as McHugh, Strasburg, Harvey, and Lester can throw complete games or complete garbage on any given start. A recent stretch of duds have hurt Laser's ERA, WHIP, and Losses over the past month but this staff is probably due for some better numbers in July. The injury luck hasn't been great on this team but one player that has rebounded nicely from an injury filled 2014 is Prince Fielder. Prince was a model of consistent health and consistent hitting before last year and it's nice to see him turning on fastballs once again. While the rest of the league might cower in fear when Arch picks on them, Laser puffed his chest out and is ready and willing to beat up on Arch or anyone else this season.
Thank God I Drafted
Prince Fielder with the 47th pick instead of Ian Kinsler who went 51st
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Strasburg with the 23rd pick instead of Madison Bumgarner, who went 29th
The Balloon Knots
No team has made more progress in the Win-Loss and Roto Standings than the Balloon Knots have since we last met. The main reason for this rise is the fact this his batters have been playing home run derby for the past six weeks. They have outhomered the 2nd highest team by 19 dongs in the past 6 weeks, which means this team is going on evening tater trots around the bases far more than everyone else. The Knots have improved their OPS by .043 in that span, which doesn't sound like a lot but it is double what the second best team has done. Brian Dozier rarely gets talked about but he's our #2 second baseman and is becoming an even more rounded batter than his breakout 2014 season. Tulo is starting to hit for more power and the guy that plays to his right is busting out in a big way this year as more people begin to recognize Nolan Arenado as one of the best third basemen the game has to offer. Harper scared the shit out of Jeff with a knee injury but he shook that off and has continues to injure baseballs since his return to the lineup. Maikel Franco looks like a potential rookie of the year candidate and this collection of crushers along with solid pitching is why Jeff Petty is a threat to the roto standings and could be a threat to the regular season title if he stays red hot. This team is taking huge hacks with no regard for human life right now and the results are a lot of deceased baseballs and the ability to talk shit between the time they hit the ball and exit the batter's box.
Bryce Harper 34th overall instead of Corey Dickerson who went 35th
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Jordan Zimmermann 39th overall instead of Cole Hammels, who went 48th
Harry Doyle
Now to the most enigmatic team in the league, Harry Doyle. I still don't know how or why this is our 4th place team but even though they shouldn't be this high in the standings, they are slowly gaining respectability. I was a huge fan of Matty's idea to trade for Robinson Cano but one of the most consistent hitters in recent memory has turned into a full blown mess this year with only three homers and a .244 batting average. I would have to think something will change with Robbie but enough time has passed for Matty to fear that this will be the 2015 version of Cano the rest of the way. At least he gave up another 2015 monster flop in order to get Cano. There is cause for concern with Lucroy, too as he has the skills to be our #1 catcher but injuries have lowered the ceiling for Lucroy and Matt will likely just have to be patient with him and Cano, as frustrating as it might be. At least RIzzo is showing no signs of slowing down while Joey Bats looks better every week, and A.J. Pollack is showing how good he can be when healthy. Kershaw, like this fantasy team, is missing that extra something that made them so special last year but we all know they can figure it out and embarrass the rest of the league at any point.
Thank God I Drafted
A.J. Pollack with the 155th pick instead of Alex Rios who went 163rd
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Ryan Zimmermann with the 86th pick instead of Todd Frazier, who went 90th
Finger Betters
They say numbers never lie but they are being pretty shady when trying to explain Matty and Kevin's teams. The roto stats say that this is a mediocre hitting team and a pretty bad pitching team, and yet they sit fifth in the standings. This is a team that sabermetricians would hate and guys like Harold Reynolds would love. This team has GRIT. This team has HEART. This team has the WILL TO WIN. As much as this team looks to be doing it with smoke and mirrors they are hanging around the middle of the pack all year long so I have to think that Kevin's fantasy baseball survival instincts are the reason and Petty is somehow 41-25-6 since our last Shocker recap. A big reason that Kevin has been able to get some wins is Todd Frazier. Frazier has been poppin' them hips on inside pitches and taking them 400+ feet to left field all year. Brian McCann seems to have found a way not to pop up every other swing and is starting to earn some of that big contract that Brian Cashman gave him last year. The levy on Prospect Lake has burst wide open as top prospects are flooding the majors by the gallon lately and even though Joey Butler isn't high on anyone's prospect list, he's performed about as well as any of the big names for the Rays, and Kevin has enjoyed all of the surprising numbers that Butler has posted so far. Kevin seems to switch his pitching strategy every week but one pitcher that should always be in his starting rotation is Chris Sale. After a sluggish start, Sale has now posted 7 consecutive games with 10+ strikeouts, which is shear madness along with striking out at least one batter in 36 consecutive innings, which just made me laugh. This isn't a very good team when you break down the numbers but so far Kevin's team has been able to pass our roto polygraph test and keep winning despite some numerical fibbing.
Thank God I Drafted
Todd Frazier with the 90th overall pick instead of Pablo Sandoval, who went 115th
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Steve Cishek at 103 instead of Kenley Jansen, who went 105th overall
Stroke My Shaft
This team has always been destined for the middle since they were drafted. That's where they were for our last recap, that's where they are at for this recap, and that's where they will be for the next recap. Just when one player heats up (Zobrist) another cools off (Adrian Gonzalez) or gets hurt (Morneau). When one pitcher storms on the scene (McCullers) another gets booed off the mound (Bauer). This team is really good at some categories (Runs, RBI's, K's, and SVHD's) but severely lacking in others (Stolen Bases, OPS, and Losses). It feels like every week Zach is enjoying a juicy buffalo burger but washing it down with a skunky MIller High Life. At least CarGo is starting to show signs of life, A-Rod continues to hit, and Blackmon is suddenly a speed demon. Then again, Kemp still sucks, Phillips is starting to look old, and Soria is blowing saves. Zach's team has a low ceiling and a high floor which makes him like Joey Knish in Rounders; steadily grinding it out and probably leaving with about the same money that he came to the table with.
Thank God I Drafted
Chris Archer 140th instead of Jered Weaver, who went 144th
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Yordano Ventura 164th overall instead of Francisco Liriano, who went 168th
Ninja Blacksox
With most of the owners in this league being in their mid 30's to early 40's, we know first hand what it's like to lose the physical skills we once had. Our 5 irons aren't getting to the green like they used to, we aren't tracking down that fly ball like we used to, and we definitely aren't getting out of bed pain free like we used to. This is frustrating for weekend warriors so I have to think that future hall of famers would be livid with their body once it begins to wear down. Albert Pujols was the best hitter in baseball for a nice stretch of time and it has been tough to watch him battle injuries and skill erosion since leaving the Cards. But since the month of May, Albert Pujols has looked like his 27 year old self again. He's got 20 homers with only 16 strikeouts since May and is scaring the pee pee out of opposing pitchers like Dave Parker did when he wore this mask in a game.
Thank God I Drafted
Russell Martin 211th overall instead of Mike Zunino, who went 221st
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Melky Cabrera 150th instead of J.D. Martinez, who went 159th
Heads UP
We've seen Downs' team act like the Colorado Rockies many seasons with a hot start and then a quick downfall thanks to injuries and poor performances. Even though the Rockies ownership makes money no matter how bad the product on the field is, it's not the same for Downs who has yet to win one dollar in this league. We're seeing the same free fall this season as Downs has suffered through a 27-43-2 record since we last met and looks well on his way on having another $60 deficit on his bottom line when the season is over. This downward spiral is mostly thanks to some limp noodles in the lineup as Downs has the least runs scored and RBI's lately. This team is still stealing a lot of bases, thanks to Billy Hamilton and George Spinger but guys like Jose Iglesias, Joc Pederson, and Matt Carpenter have really struggled, which is dragging this team down. The pitching hasn't been much better either with a staff that hasn't been good at striking dudes out, going deep into games, nor closing games out. This is a team that is prone to peaks and valleys and there's no question Tim has been tumbling asses over elbows down the hill lately. Timmy will just have to hope that the downward momentum stops or at least slows down in July.
Thank God I Drafted
Joc Pederson with the 160th pick instead of Alex Rios with the 163rd
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Rusney Castillo 153rd overall instead of A.J. Pollock, who went 155th
Fred McGriffey Jr.
Every Monday I look at my roster and convince myself that this is the week they get rolling and every Sunday I look at my roster and want to hit them all over the head with a tack hammer. It's just all going wrong for the commish in 2015. I'm either getting blown out of the water in a stat or it's a close race to the finish and I make some stupid move over the weekend. I'll bench a cold pitcher to try to preserve my ERA lead and he'll pitch a gem. I'll pick up a reliever to try to take the SVHD lead and he'll get his tits ripped the fuck off, costing me the ERA and Losses stat. The funny thing is that on paper, I actually like the names on my roster. The numbers that are next to them, though, not so much. It's really hard to overstate how horrid Ian Desmond has been all year. A perennial 20/20 short stop is currently ranked 58th at his position. FIFTY-FUCKING-EIGHTH! I didn't think there were 58 eligible shortstops in fantasy baseball. It's sad that I literally could've left that spot blank all year and gotten more production thanks to the plethora of K's and outs that Desmond is putting up so far. Ian was taken 25th overall in our draft and is now in danger of getting benched and I'm not talking about by his fantasy manager, I'm talking about the Washington Nationals manager because he's so terrible at baseball in 2015. I love what Kipnis, Marte, Freddie Freeman, and most of my pitchers are doing every week but when 80% of the batting lineup is having a down year, it's tough to beat anybody. I'm in a shitty place where I like the players, hate the production, and don't feel like selling low on guys that could break out at any point. I'm all up in my head, I'm on tilt, and despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage. I'm going to go smash a pumpkin now.
Thank God I Drafted
Jacob deGrom 109th overall instead of Doug Fister, who went 112th
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Edwin Encarnacion with the first pick instead of Rizzo, who went 3 picks later
New Dalai Big Hitters
Colin and Jon had some real problems with their pitching staff and those problems have somewhat been remedied as that unit has improved in the ERA and WHIP category better than any other team. On the flip side, the batters on this team are now a major concern as that unit is shriveling up like George Constanza's unit in the pool. Mauer, Sal Perez, Semien, and Ozuna have been straight up terrible and the big names of Upton, Abreu, Altuve, and Bryant have cooled off considerably as well. In fact, it now appears that the pitching is better than the hitting on this team, which definitely wasn't the case last month and definitely doesn't represent an overall move in the right direction for this franchise. Hamels, Liriano, and even C.J. Wilson have looked like pretty strong southpaws and the northpaws in the bullpen are getting it done, too. The sorry thing about this team is that they are pretty damn bad as a whole as stolen bases is the only stat this team ranks higher than average in this league. There isn't a lot of redeeming qualities on this team but if Runge and Jon can stick their batters in the microwave and reheat them back up in July and the pitching keep improving, this team might make it interesting. Unfortunately for these two, the only interesting part of their team is having Anthony Gose on their team so they can yell, "Gose runner on first!" and "Gose runner on second!" and "Gose runner on third!" when he's on base.
Thank God I Drafted
Yasmany Grandal 264th overall instead of Miguel Montero, who went 272nd
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Marcel Ozuna 120th instead of Charlie Blackmon, who went 125th overall
Fightin' Buck Showalters
Murphy's Law states, "what can go wrong, will go wrong" and we might want to change that to Meyer's Law in 2015 because it's been one big mistake after another for Granger so far. A mix of head scratching trades and bad luck proceeding a trade or an add/drop has pulled Meyer down to the depths of the standings with very little chance for survival. His Freeman for Souza trade hasn't been a total disaster but hasn't been good at all. The Cespedes for Betts trade was smart but I'm really wondering what was going through his head when he traded the best pitcher in 2015 for three guys that Arch found off waivers. Of course Scherzer would throw a no-hitter soon after fleeing from Meyer's team and even though I admire Jeff's boldness to take a chance with this team, that's probably not the move he needed to make. Miggy has been Miggy and Justin Turner is one of the big surprises of 2015 but there are far too many players on this roster that should've been let go long ago or too many players that were let go and thrived afterwards. I hate to call Meyer out on this but I did see a fair amount of players on the bench that were probables that day so I'm wondering if he's going to his GM office in the morning, twisting the cap off of a bottle of Johnnie Walker, and then passing out on his desk by noon. This team is also sluggish on the basepaths by stealing 32 bases so far, 1 less than Billy Hamilton has done so far. This team is a mess on the bases and every where else which has Meyer doing 360's and generally looking like he's never played this game before.
(Please listen to this with the sound on, it's hilarious)
Drew Storen 127th overall instead of Joaquin Benoit, who went 154th
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Ian Kinsler 51st instead of Brian Dozier, who went 58th overall
Foot Pussy
Rich and Pep remind me of Billy Madison's friends. They really should be doing something better with their lives after lazily going through the motions every year but once again they signed up for this league and once again they are sitting by the pool in a haze, wondering what exactly they were supposed to do today. The obvious answer is that they should adjust their fantasy roster but when we take a look at their team page and see two active players accumulating stats on their DL spots, we know these slackers were probably up all night doing beer bongs and lighting pieces of shit on people's doorsteps instead. Most fans of baseball feel sorry for Giancarlo Stanton and the fact that he's going to be the centerpiece of a franchise that has no idea what it's doing every year. I think many fans of the Shocker Fantasy Baseball league feel similar empathy for Stanton in this league because he's been knocking baseballs of the face of Jupiter and doing it on a team that realistically has no chance each and every year. This franchise seems content on simply showing up and going through the motions as they watch the rest of the league grove strike three down the middle with no resistance from Rich and Pep.
Nelson Cruz 64th overall instead of Matt Kemp, who went 68th
Why In God's Name Did I Draft
Adrian Beltre 17th overall instead of Josh Donaldson, who went 26th
And here are the updated roto standings. These stats and all the stats you read before it are from Monday of this week so if anything looks a little outdated, it is. This has gone from a daily project to a week long endeavor for me. One thing to notice is that Rich and Pep have 11.5 total roto pitching points, which is almost impossible to do.